WTFckery or Not? You Decide

Are you ready for some WTFckery? A very publishing minded WTFckery this week...

1. Terry Deary, a children's author really knows how to piss off librarians and those who support librarians. From The Guardian:

 "Because it's been 150 years, we've got this idea that we've got an entitlement to read books for free, at the expense of authors, publishers and council tax payers." Libraries are no longer relevant? WTFckery right here

"Libraries "have been around too long" and are "no longer relevant", according to Horrible Histories author Terry Deary, an apparently lone literary voice to believe that libraries have "had their day". Deary, a bestselling author who was also the seventh most-borrowed children's writer from UK libraries last year, was speaking as his local council in Sunderland became the latest authority to look into the possibility of closing branches to save money. But unlike other authors up and down the country, who have come together to protest the closures of their local branches, Deary was clear that libraries have had their day.

Who knew libraries are the reason bookstores are closing down? Funny, bookstores and libraries have been together side by side for those 150 years: "Bookshops are closing down, he said, "because someone is giving away the product they are trying to sell. What other industry creates a product and allows someone else to give it away, endlessly? The car industry would collapse if we went to car libraries for free use of Porsches … Librarians are lovely people and libraries are lovely places, but they are damaging the book industry. They are putting bookshops out of business, and I'm afraid we have to look at what place they have in the 21st century." 

2. And ABC news really knows how to piss off authors who write New Adult and those who read it be labeling it "Smut Fiction". Also you have to love how New Adult came to be because of Twilight and Fifty Shades. Surprisingly no mention of Harry Potter for some reason.

Hm, who knew New Adult is a writer's and reader's answer to erotic and in your face sex scene between Bella and Edward. Why, that's what I thought Twilight pulled to publish fan fiction like Fifty Shades was for?

"If you could put lust in a bottle, it might look like a scene from "Twilight": Bella whispering, "I dream about being with you forever" to her vampire love, who responds, "you're ready right now," and then dramatically kisses her neck. It's the alluring nectar of forbidden love. But before "Twilight" was a blockbuster movie, it was a publishing gold mine, selling a quarter of a billion copies.

"Twilight" even inspired author E.L. James to write "50 Shades of Grey." The kinky juggernaut spawned "50 Shades"-themed bondage classes and single-handedly boosted the book industry. The book series once dominated the number one, two and three spots on the New York Times Bestseller List.

Now there is a new genre merging the "young adult" fan base with "erotic fiction" fans. It's being called "new adult."

3. You can't have a true WTFckery post without some WTF books.

I take it "C" isn't for cookie with this one:

 

Synopsis: Aspiring ballerina Emily doesn't like her job as a backup dancer on the "Dongo the Puppet" show. When she stays late to get a wardrobe malfunction repaired, Dongo catches her ballet dancing, and Emily finds out what it's like to dance on puppet strings!

Warning: Explicit sexual content. Puppet sex, bondage, domination, and a big green monster who knows how to please a woman!

Sweet savage horsey butt love:

4. This made me LOL myself silly. From Huff Post Tech:

"A pencil sharpener-like device that transforms any long, cylindrical object into a dildo"

 Now the fun you can have making phallic creations!

"Francesco Morackini, the device's creator, calls his dildo-making gadget "the Dildomaker." On his Cargo Collective website, Morackini lists as his inspiration the original hand-cranked Loewy pencil sharpener that might be familiar to you from your school days"

5. For those who want to smell like Pizza or have a addiction to Pizza Hut. From The Consumerist:

“Introducing Pizza Hut Perfume – a brand new fragrance from Pizza Hut Canada boasting top notes of freshly baked, hand-tossed dough,” reads the press release from Pizza Hut and Yum! Brands.

Appropriately enough, it began as a joke: Pizza Hut Canada’s marketing firm, Grip Limited, posted a tongue-in-cheek Facebook post on the Pizza Hut Canada fan page, asking, “Do you love the smell of a box of Pizza Hut pizza being opened? We thought so. If that smell was a perfume, what would it be called?”
Thousands responded, some requesting a bottle of Pizza Hut perfume for themselves. And so it was.

“The limited edition perfume was designed to commemorate Pizza Hut Canada reaching 100,000 Facebook fans,” the release reads. “Only 110 bottles were produced and shared with lucky Facebook fans who won a bottle by being among the first to share their desire for Pizza Hut perfume.”

6. I guess the filtering system in this case failed. From CNN:

Corpse Found in L.A. Hotel's Water Tank

"Tourists staying at a Los Angeles hotel bathed, brushed teeth and drank water from a tank in which a young woman's body was likely decomposing for more than two weeks, police said. Elisa Lam's corpse was found in the Cecil Hotel's rooftop water tank by a maintenance worker who was trying to figure out why the water pressure was low Tuesday. Lam's parents reported her missing in early February. The last sighting of her was in the hotel on January 31, Los Angeles Police said.Detectives are now investigating the 21-year-old Canadian's suspicious death, police Sgt. Rudy Lopez said. It was not clear whether the water presented any health risks to those who consumed it."

7. I had no idea furbies were still around! From Huff Po Crime:

"According to police in Pennsylvania, 27-year-old Ashley Trimmer used a "Furby" toy to assault her live-in boyfriend during an altercation over a Facebook post Wednesday, KDKA reports.The Moon township resident was arrested and charged with simple assault after the early morning incident. According to the criminal complaint obtained by the Smoking Gun, two officers arrived at the house shared by Trimmer and her boyfriend, William Ley, after receiving reports of a domestic dispute. Ley told the responding officers that Trimmer first threw the "Furby" toy at him -- striking him on the right side of his face -- before lobbing a Sony PlayStation controller at the other side of his head. The latter injured Ley, causing some bleeding, the report states."

8. Taxis have televisions now, so why not condom machines? Perfect for those who want to get frisky in the back seat of a cab. From Huff Po Small Business: 

"New York City taxis are getting 10 inches of added leg room, so why not throw a condom vending machine in there? That’s the idea behind TaxiTreats, a startup that just raised $1 million to install vending machines in cabs selling anything from peanuts to prophylactics. TaxiTreats founder Brian Shimmerlik told The Huffington Post that he expects the company to start offering its taxi product to the city’s cabbies this summer.

“Our goal is to provide people with things they want, when they want them, right where they are,” said Shimmerlik, adding that the product, called Vengo, will focus on selling “convenience” items like gum, hand sanitizer and even condoms."

9. And your WTFckery Regretsy makes me want to watch Bambi all over again:

I hope you have enjoyed this week's best in WTFckery!