Sunday, December 16, 2012

WTFckery or Not? You Decide

Here comes one of the naughtiest WTFckeries I've done in a while. Warning, some may not be suitable for those who have pure and innocent eyes...

1. Some of the WTFckery books are too WTF:

For those who really want to know what went on in the Lincoln Bedroom:

Synopsis: Few people know that Abraham Lincoln was the greatest fuck machine of all time. His sexual prowess is unmatched in the history of American presidents. When he gets word of a nefarious plot hatched by the insane Emperor of Japan, he must learn to use his most potent power--the power of his cock!

Isn't the curly lint like hair just precious on this cover?

I assume this one isn't for family reading around the holidays:

2. I've been hearing about a brand of lingerie and bra and underwear called La Perla that seems to be a big trend in the current Twilight P2P fan fiction published. I've never heard of La Perla before, maybe because my low brow cheap self enjoys Gap undies.

The heroines, who don't have much money to their name ends up wearing this very expensive live of undergarments that in some cases costs more than a month's rent. All I know if some rich dude was going to rip off a pair of $200 undies I paid for in the heat of the passion, he would have to buy me a new pair.

Some examples:

Shanghai San Exclusive SlipLA PERLA. $494.00. The slip looks like a tablecloth to me.

Kyoto Hana High Waist Short. $165.00. Panties looks like a placemat to me.

Gap Invisible Thong. $12.50. Pretend it's a $250.00 La Perla. See any difference?

3. Ergo Wear is a line of underwear for men that practices Ergonomics:

"Ergonomics is the science that studies how to optimize the relationship between humans and the tools/equipment/environment they need to interact with to carry out their daily work processes"

Case in point: (way cheaper than La Perla!)

Shape: Low-rise bikini in 100% ergonomic design, 3-dimensional pouch in X3D design, slim and concealed waistband with Ergowear logo in front. exclusive shape-enhancing and yet very comfortable lifting effect.

Fabric: Modal-Lycra. Just like Cotton, Modal is made from natural fibers (cellulose in this case); but it is lighter and softer, absorbs more humidity, and is also more resistant to shrinkage than cotton.

4. Some naughty naughty here titled- How Genitals Got Their Names of Why a Penis is Called a Pizzle. From Io9:

If you ever have a trivia party night some fun facts you can tell your guests:

"Most all of our modern medical names for genitals, slang withstanding, are named in the fashion of the rest of our body parts – the names are simply taken from Greek or Latin.

Penis is derived from the Latin word for tail, popping up in Cicero's ad Familiares.

Testicle (and its plural, testes), has a little more unusual etymology. The term testicle likely evolved from the Latin word testis, a term for someone that witnesses or gives testimony in a legal setting.

Clitoris has its origin, you can probably guess if you are a fan of ancient languages, in Greek. Clitoris carries with it connotations for the Greek word for key, kleis. There may be an attribution arising via the verb kleiein , meaning "to close" or "shut", as well.

The penis (or tail, if you will…) is the recipient of some of the more inventive mainstream names through the centuries. 14th Century English men and women used the euphemism "yard" for the organ. We've unfortunately lost that usage over time, although it might make for an interesting term to bring back. Pizzle also pops up in old English via German and Flemish as a term for the penis, particularly when describing the fibrous parts of the organ. Our ancestors attached the pizzles of bulls to the tips of whips and dried them to make chew toys for dogs. Chinese Olympians ate Scottish deer pizzles (either in a stew or as a protein-like powder) in preparation for the 2008 Summer Olympics"

5. Woman breastfeeds her husband's monkeys. Wife is a giver! From The Frisky: (thanks to Smexybook Mandi) 

"Jiao Xinzhen, the 27-year-old wife of one of China’s top professional monkey trainers, regularly breastfeeds the animals. And enjoys it. Many times, some of the baby monkeys slip onto our bed at night to suck my breasts … I feel they are just like my children,” said Xinzhen. And speaking of children, the couple adopted one of the monkeys as a “playmate” for their son."

6. Jess Haines brought The Hater's Guide to Williams-Sonoma Catalogue to my attention. I ended up laughing my butt off. This post is beyond hilarious and so true with it's insight.. My favorite Cocktail Rimming Sugar mention:

"Williams-Sonoma says: "Spiced, Citrus, or Vanilla."
Price: $8.95
Notes from Drew: Why have an ordinary rimjob when you can add just a touch of Madagascar vanilla? That's how classy folk do their rimming."

7. Bacon jello? Blerg. From Gizmodo: 

"Bacon jello.  Yes, it's bacon-flavored jello that looks like you're slicing into a nice, thick slab of home-cured bacon.  Think of it less as dessert, and more as a surprisingly edible piece of concept art.  This jello has a dairy base flavored with bacon (of course!), a mix of maple syrup and flamed and reduced Calvados, and applewood smoke.

Want to get fancy?  Do this again, but change up the flavorings: breakfast (bacon, eggs, and toast layers), a BLT (obvious), or your own favorite bacon-based flavor combination."

8. This is the man with the world's largest upper arms. "31-inch muscles without dwarfing his 5-foot-11 frame."  I wonder what it feels like having basketball sized arms?

9. So your Regretsy WTFckery isn't so WTFckery, but it may raise some eyebrows if a guest sees you snuggling with a stuffed arm pillow and nothing else.

I hope you enjoyed this week's incredibly disturbing WTFckery!



Blodeuedd said...

The first book way to wtf.

La, I do not spend that much on my clothes, in a year o_o

mepamelia said...

LaPerla is the BOMB. Gorgeous stuff. When I was looking for a strapless bustier for under my wedding dress years ago the saleslady showed me a LaPerla number that made me salivate, but since it cost almost half as much as my wedding dress I didn't do more than gape and drool.
I love to look at it, but I won't purchase it.

KB/KT Grant said...

I need to find a rich sugar daddy who can rip of the La Perla's and buy me more to rip off. heh

Written Melodies said...

I laughed for about five minutes over the Abraham Lincoln book. Too over the top!!!