Sunday, December 2, 2012

WTFckery or Not? You Decide

Here comes your favorite post of the week! Say hello to the WTFckery...

1. Aw, these poor literary book critics are really bent out of shape. They blame the unwashed book blogging masses for the downfall of literary book criticism. More like literary book critics are losing their PAID jobs and must blame someone for ending up on the employment line. Want a good laugh? Take a gander at this article at the Los Angeles Review of Books entitled: William Giraldi on Rotten Reviews Redux: A Literary Companion.

"This is all to suggest that Lubbock’s The Craft of Fiction is every bit as valuable as Forster’s Aspects of the Novel and has been unjustly interred in the bone yard of irrelevance. It’s especially vital now in our present climate of criticism — a climate in which the Net has spawned a cacophony of gabble impersonating literary comment, palaver and vulgate enough to warp you. Literature has always had its leeches, except now the Net has given every one of them a bog to wiggle around in. This wouldn’t be any more of an issue than it is to ignore the wastrel on the corner dispensing pamphlets on anarchy, but as respectable print publications either prune their space for book commentary or else go extinct altogether, more and more criticism — like more and more of everything else — is migrating to blogs and social media sites. Young or new book readers looking for literary analysis are going to have an increasingly arduous chore of dividing the shit from the serious. Worse, the biddable and ovine will gravitate to the shit because that’s where all the buzzing is. If you’ve ever attempted to read a review on Amazon or on someone’s personal blog, you know it’s identical to seeking relationship advice on the wall of a public restroom."

My low brow public restroom type blog self couldn't help but leave this comment:

"Looks like book critics are more upset about losing their pay checks (blame the book bloggers, they're to blame for the downfall of high brow fiction) because they're becoming obsolete. Why would anyone pay someone to review when book bloggers do it for free, and certainly don't have a chip on their shoulders because they think they're opinion on books are the end all and be all like a few so-called literary book critics?"

Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

2. Now for some low brow humor with some books and their covers.

This excerpt gives you a good idea of what you're in store for when you read My Last Trip to Hawaii, now .99 cents on Amazon.

"He makes circular moves around my nipples and I am starting to feel really turned on. He then moves down towards my crotch and allows his fingers to barely touch. He uses his thumb and slides down and touches my clitoris. I am starting to breath heavy. He slides his thumb down again and now all the way to my vagina. He sticks his thumb inside. Wow that felt like a dick. I am getting seriously horny at this point."

Wow, these Gumby type legs are beyond impressive. Rubber woman!

3. So demon sex makes you gay? Based on Charisma, a Christian magazine has a thought provoking article to back up their claims. From Alter Net: 

Christian Group Says Demon Sex Makes You Gay. A Christian magazine warns that homosexuality is caused by sex with demons. And that's just the beginning.

"Christian magazine Charisma conducted its own investigation into the origins of homosexuality to reveal the real culprit: sex with demons.
"These spiritual rapists, as Adams describes them in her book,  Consequences, often prey on people by performing sexual acts through nightmares and erotic dreams. Some people become so dependent upon these demonic experiences that they actually look forward to them.
"Anybody that has been attacked by them will tell you ... they're worried [that] they could not find that pleasure with mortal people," says Adams, who claims she was once possessed by sexual demons.
The two most identifiable sexual demons are the incubus, which is a male sexual demon that traditionally assaults women, and the succubus, which is a female sexual demon that assaults men. Sometimes they also lure people into homosexual behavior. Adams says the succubus spirit that used to attack her confused her so much that she contemplated becoming a lesbian."

4. Bacon shaving cream anyone? From The Consumerist:

"If you want to jump on the Bacon Shaving Cream train you’ll have to act fast — there’s only 2,500 jars of the stuff going for $14.99 each, reports J&D’s Bacon Shaving Cream is a high end, luxurious bacon-scented shaving cream for all skin types. It is best used after a hot shower or before an important date with someone you may want to spend the rest of your life with."

5. Arguments over misplaced sex toys never ends well. From HuffPo:

"A Thanksgiving Day dispute over a misplaced sex toy ended with an arrest last week. Police in Rock Hill, S.C., responded to a domestic disturbance at the home of Arteesha Donaldson and her girlfriend, Latoya Hudson, on Nov. 22, the Smoking Gun reports.

Hudson told police that Donaldson “began looking for her detachable latex penis” and became upset when she could not find it. The couple argued, and Donaldson threw an ironing board at Hudson, the report states."

6. Do you know there's an actual scientific term for when someone gushes over cute things? From HuffPo:

"Have you ever wondered just why fuzzy little puppies melt even the most hardened of hearts? And why are baby versions of animals so much cuter than their full-grown counterparts? In fact, what does it actually mean for something to be cute? Turns out, there's a scientific explanation for why we find cute things to be, well, cute! And the answers lie in the deep roots of our evolutionary past.

It's called Pedomorphism 

"Why are puppies cute? Because they look young. And why do we like young-looking things? Because they're cute? Let's back up a little. Evolutionary biologists say baby animals trigger the same protective mechanism in us that human babies do. We love babies' big ol' eyes and funny lollipop heads. They make them look vulnerable and precious and needy. "

Yup, funny lollipop heads sure are cute. Now time to experience your own pedomorphy moment:

Are you pedomorphing yet?

7. Yes, there is a website that promotes the best in tampon crafts. "Tampon Crafts, for anytime of the month." (nice catch phrase) (Thanks to AH from Badass Book Reviews)

This iTampon is very artistic and lifelike, don't you think?

8. This video will do a mind trip on your eyes. Amazing anamorphic illusions is aptly titled.

9. I'm placing this under the WTFckery Regretsy files because this is something you would find there. Life-sized chocolate babies heads? I know people like to bite the ears off first from a chocolate bunny, but this is pretty disturbing. From Io9:

"Cake maker Conjurer's Kitchen cooked up these bad boys (or bad girls, it's hard to say without their bodies) as a commission for an unnamed client."

I hope you have enjoyed this week's best in everything WTFckery!



Janicu said...

I like bacon, but the idea of someone's face smelling like bacon because of their shaving cream is not appealing at all.

*shudder* at the life size baby chocolate heads. Freaky.

P.S. I think there's a video missing from #8!

KB/KT Grant said...

ARG! Blogger does this to the videos sometimes. *grumble*

Blodeuedd said...

That article was sooo boring, and he wonders why critiques loose jobs, cos they are borng

KB/KT Grant said...

Blodeuedd: Pretty much. Big ZZZZ fest.

kara-karina@Nocturnal Book Reviews said...

Wow, there is even more wtfkery than usual. I need a cigarette.

That critic had so much venom in him, I reckon if he spit on someone that person will die from an anaphylactic shock.

I've only read his excerpt on your blog but I couldn't understand a quarter of the words he used. How does he want to attract young readers with such uppity, snobby and boring language, I'd like to know? Oh wait, I don't. It's too boring.