Sunday, May 13, 2012

WTFckery or Not? You Decide

Here comes the everything WTFckery to make you squirm...

1. Most shocking WTFckery of the week thanks to the cover for this week's Time Magazine.

Perfect magazine to read for Mother's Day today. I wonder how long this photo shoot was? I guess the little boy didn't have to worry about being thirsty.

Do you think Time went too far?

2. The cover for Time makes your jaw drop? Then you haven't been taking note of these WTF book covers...

Seriously? Who designed this? Trade this up for a new cover, STAT! (Thanks to Has Bookpushers)

Synopsis: Drifting helplessly in space, short of supplies, Sharrell and many of the other women are sold to aliens by their unscrupulous spaceship captain in return for the means to settle on an inhabitable planet.

Worse, it quickly becomes clear that the aliens want the women to become their mates, and the alien families invariably consist of one set of twin males and one female who is expected to be submissive and to endure the dominant and often painful demands of her two husbands. It had been that way for centuries. The females of that planet always gave birth to one set of male twins followed by one girl, and it should have continued without a problem. A rare natural occurrence had altered the usual course of events, and the birth of a second set of male twins in each family had led to the shortage of mates, an unthinkable situation for the male twins and for their insatiable sex-drives.

The Earth girls, however, are not prepared to simply accept the situation…

Title is pretty self-explanatory: 

"How to Give an Amazing Blowjob" has all you need to know to take the experience of orally pleasuring your guy to the next level. This edition includes illustrations of various blowjob positions/techniques!

The title cracks me up, but the guy stares at you like he's looking into your soul. Freaky.

3. The perfect way to not lose your Ipod. From Gizmodo:

Guy Gets Magnets Implanted in His Arm To Hold His iPod 

"But none are as creative, or downright creepy, as this body piercing artist who had four magnets implanted in his arm to hold it in place."

4. My pervy mind thinks this looks like a sex toy. What do you think? From Gizmodo: 

Case in point, note the name of the portable bidet.

"The Hygienna Solo turns any plastic water bottle into a handheld portable bidet. $10 for teal or pink."

5. Because women all need a special type of indestructible bra when the apocalypse happens and heats up the world where you'll be fried to a crisp. Or for those who want to stay cool in the summer. Say hello to the ice bra!

"A bra with built-in ice packs, a wind chime and a sprig of mint has been unveiled in Japan, promising to keep women cool this summer. In a nearly-naked publicity stunt, underwear firm Triumph Japan has had models parading around showing off its Super Cool Bra, featuring what appears to be a pair of small fish tanks encompassing the breasts.

The company says these cups are filled with a gel that remains soft and supple even when frozen, giving the wearer a cool sensation against her skin."

6. To go along with your ice bra, you're going to need inflatable shorts to match. True ad from over 40 years ago. From Modern Mechanix:

"New Inflatable Air Shorts provide pneumatic support plus massage to help you slenderize where you need it most!

This may well be the easiest, most comfortable trim-down method you’ve ever tried. All you do is slip into these astounding new slenderizing shorts and inflate them with the little hand pump we provide. Then merely do a few simple exercises, housework or any usual daily activity. What happens after that is likely to amaze you. The puffy, snug-fitting pockets of air which surround you actually work to provide gentle pneumatic support plus effective massage while they generate additional body heat. Inflatable Air Shorts were originally sold at $9.99. Our direct-by-mail price is only $6.99. (You save $3.00!) One size fits both men and women."

7. Thinking how much money I'll need to retire is scary, especially when you may need close to $240,000 saved just for health care (for you and your partner). From AJC: 

"Couples retiring this year can expect their medical bills throughout retirement to cost 4 percent more than those who retired a year ago, according to an annual projection released Wednesday by Fidelity Investments. The estimated $240,000 that a newly retired couple will need to cover health care expenses reflects the typical pattern of projected annual increases. The Boston-based company cut the estimate for the first time last year, citing President Barack Obama's health care overhaul. Medicare changes resulting from that plan are expected to gradually reduce many seniors' out-of-pocket expenses for prescription drugs. But Fidelity says overall health care cost trends are on the rise again, so it's raising its cost estimate from last year's $230,000 figure."

8. This new soda sounds so unappealing. From The Consumerist:

"Lester's Fixins has invented  Buffalo Wing Soda flavor. According to the Rocket Fizz site, (via BuzzFeed), the company also offers such odd/awesome flavors as Bacon, Coffee, Pumpkin Pie, Peanut Butter & Jelly and Sweet Corn. Perfect for those times when you're not sure if you're thirsty or hungry. There are several locations where one can buy these odd soda creations, but if you don't happen to live in Arizona, California, Nevada, Colorado or Nebraska, there's still hope: You can order your dream soda online.

Beyond all those savory selections in Lester's Fixins, there are three kinds of Judge Wapner sodas (cola, cream soda and root beer) and more traditional, sweet flavors as part of the company's namesake Rocket Fizz collection."

9. If you're thinking of writing a sci fi erotic novel, you might want to invest in this product as "research": From Io9:

Say hello to Shiri. (the music sounds like Nine Inch Nails)

"For that is the name of the robotic buttocks you see here, specially designed to not only receive stimulation (in the form of slaps, caresses, and finger-pokes), but respond to that stimulation by tensing, twitching, and protruding their artificial muscles in expressions of emotion.

The artificial posterior is comprised of a silicon skin and a "rigid urethane skeleton," in a full-scale size. Mostly it looks like each "cheek" is a little red airbag, with modulating pressure that gives it its reaction. There's a microphone embedded to detect pressure--not sure how that works, exactly, but it can certainly differentiate between different kinds of pressure. A poke, slap, and caress were all demonstrated, and the actuators change the pressure of the cheeks to respond in kind to each one."

10. This Regretsy WTFckery can be taken in so many ways. I'd like to this this looks like a brownie mix nightlight. Other disturbing minds will think otherwise:

I hope you have enjoyed this week's greatest in WTFckery!



Blodeuedd said...

The trade cover is so freaking bad, it's not only the bad photoshop but the guys creep me out