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Monday, April 16, 2012

NSFW Frank Discussion on Disturbing Sex Acts in Romance


Before I begin, I’m putting up a warning. This post is going to be a frank discussion about possible WTFckery sex acts in romances. If you’re not comfortable with this kind of talk, I recommend you go elsewhere.

If you're more interested in G-rated wholesomeness, why not visit Boo, the world's cutest dog on Facebook? I’ll wait while you mosey on over there…

Waiting...


One last chance...


Now, for those who are brave enough to stick around to read this post, welcome. It’s going to get real right now. The reason I’ve decided to write this post is because last week I read what some may feel is a shocking sexual act that is very unsanitary and unhygienic. Like most sexual acts in romance, it’s up to the reader to decide if they’re comfortable with them and subjective on their part.


Back when I started reading romance twenty years ago, most of the romances I read were pretty tame. I stuck to mainly Harlequin categories and historical romances, where most of the sex acts involved where more missionary sex than if anything. The first time oral sex scene I read was in Karen Robard’s One Summer. The bad boy ex-convict hero goes down on his former high school teacher in a very erotic way. The heroine is a churchgoing good girl type who falls for the bad boy ex-convict, and when she visits him at his house, one things lead to another and he and gives her incredible oral pleasure. That scene is my all time favorite oral sex scene next to the raspberry oral scene in Lisa Kleypas’s Suddenly You.


As time has gone on, I’ve read more erotic romances. Some of the sex acts involved have really thrown me for a loop such as Dawn Thompson’s Lord of the Deep where the heroine is not only forced to have sex with a tree once, but twice. She ends up enjoying it. Elizabeth Amber’s Raine not only has a hero with two penises but a hermaphrodite heroine. Little garden sexy fairies join them at one point also. Fun times there. Sarah McCarty has her share of WTFckery sex in Caine's Reckoning with anal sex on a horse, including the five foot, petite heroine, while riding behind the over six foot hero, becomes Gumby and reaches around and give him a BJ while on a horse. I’m still amazed by the mechanics of that BJ horse sex scene.


For the most part I’m fine with most sexual acts I’ve read. I used to not be a big fan of the heroine giving the hero a BJ before sex while the hero doesn’t return the favor, or in some cases when the hero goes down on the heroine and she’s dripping like a faucet or a like a gooey puddle of maple syrup on a plate of waffles or pancakes. I really don’t find a heroine gushing liquid all over herself to be sexy, but to each their own.

The one sex act I just can’t find sexy or erotic at all is the art of rimming. Rimming is when a person will give their lover some butt love. This is when a character will stick their tongue in their lover’s bum and bring forth an orgasm that way. I haven’t read too many rimming scenes in romance, specifically straight romance. The ones I have read have turned me off completely, because most of the time the hero or heroine will engage in this and no bathing has occurred. And what’s worse, after rimming, some authors will forget a big NO NO for me as a reader. After a character rims the inside of their lover’s bum, they’ll grab their lover by the face and kiss the life out of them with spit, teeth and the tongue they just used in a person’s bum!

I recently read a book where this happens, and I was surprised the author and their editor didn’t catch this. A character who rims should clean out their mouth before kissing the one they have just rimmed. This is just as important (mainly in contemporary romance) before the couple has sex, they will stop and the hero grabs a condom before he has intercourse with the heroine or anal sex with another man, if it happens to be a Gay Contemporary romance.

For some readers, rimming may not be a turn off. This sex act can be compared to oral sex. How many times have you read an oral sex scene, especially when the hero goes down on a heroine, and he then kisses her passionately? Sharing of other liquids, besides spit are involved. Shouldn’t the hero take a moment to wash out his mouth, as well as the heroine who gives the hero a BJ?

This recent book where the taboo rimming occurs isn’t out yet and by an author I love. This is a third in a Gay (M/M) historical romance trilogy. I was enjoying this book up to a certain point but had to stop after the rimming scene because I was so turned off. In one scene, hero #1 sticks his tongue in hero #2’s ass and goes to town on him. I was enjoying this because the author is very skilled at writing erotically charged sex. But then after hero #1 gives hero #2 an orgasm this way, they then have anal sex which ends in a “sloppy and wet” kiss shared between the two.

Some may ask, how can hero #1 stop and clean his mouth before carrying on? Doesn’t that ruin the mood? We expect the hero to stop from having intercourse and putting on a condom (again, mainly in contemporary romance), so shouldn’t the same apply for someone who after they stick their tongue in a dark place, to take a moment to wash out their mouth with a mint or something? Not cleaning a mouth after rimming and then kissing someone is very unsanitary and unhygienic and brings to mind septic and toxic shock among a few nasty visuals I’ll keep to myself.

Am I wrong to feel this way? Has anyone read a rimming where after this sexual act, the one who does the rimming didn’t wash out their mouth and then commenced with some hot and heavy kissing? Did this turn you off or did you just shrug and carry on reading? And are there any sex acts you may have read that turned you off so much that you DNFed a book? What OMGWTFBBQ sex scene has been imbedded in your mind for all time?

Katiebabs










18 comments:

Anonymous said...

It doesn't really bother me, mainly because I'm OK with my romances not being a 100% real :) I mean I wouldn't do half the stuff they do as fast as they do it. Most people I know don't wash their hands before they eat [or after they leave the bathroom, for that matter], who knows what they're ingesting!! And for all I know this guy gives himself a very thorough cleaning there everytime he goes to the bathroom, lol

Debra Dunbar said...

First - I'm taking notes because I can hardly stay on my horse WITHOUT giving a blow job at the same time. Wow. That's equestrian skill.

From what I've discovered, most people who rim (straight or gay) avoid mouth to mouth kisses after, but again a lot of people I've spoken to avoid mouth to mouth after oral sex too.

Personally there would have to be some big time cleaning involved before, and I'd make sure I put that in my novel (which could be kinda sexy too). But overall, reading this wouldn't be a huge mood killer for me. More like a 'huh? yikes!' moment.

Barbara Sheridan said...

You're not wrong at all. What pulls you out of the fictional world is what pulls you out of the fictional world. We all have different hot buttons in that area.

In a fiction I'm pretty willing to go along with a lot more than I'd ever consider dealing with in the "real world". Because that works for me doesn't mean anyone else needs to have that same outlook.

I suppose some of that "most anything goes" comes across when I'm in writer mode, but I don't think I've ever gone as far as rimming to kissing 'cause it is pretty nasty, but if the scene or character called for it I could have, especially in the more yaoi influenced stories.

Pam said...

I got skeeved out just by reading :P

Jenre said...

This is quite interesting KB because rimming is so popular in m/m books at the moment that I've almost started to expect it in m/m sex scenes. I would say that at a rough estimate 1 in 3 m/m romance books have it in, especially if it's by an author known for their raunchy sex scenes.

It was different when I first started reading m/m when it was quite rare to read it but now it happens all the time.

I wasn't sure about it at first but now I actually quite like it. It shows a certain level of trust and can be very sexy. I don't even mind kissing after rimming because I just switch off that part of my brain that wants to wash the hero's mouth out with bleach, LOL! I suppose it's because I've been exposed to it so much that it's lost it's ickyness factor.

Brie said...

I have no problem whatsoever with rimming. I can’t recall ever reading a rimming scene where the person doing it kisses his/her partner afterwards, but now that you mention it I do think it’s unsanitary and I wouldn’t mind a pause to clean up first, that would kill the mood for me, but then again, I’m one of those readers who like it when the hero puts on a condom, and when the heroine has to clean up after the sex. I think it gives a more realistic feel to the scenes.

I have read lots of books were the hero/heroine performs oral sex on their partner and then kisses them and the partner comments on how they can taste themselves. I think that’s kind of hot. Am I disgusting? Maybe I should make another note about how I’m not a pervert LOL.

Hate dripping heroines, hate it!

And I just finished The Scholomance by R. Lee Smith, and the heroine has sex with a variety of demons, one thing they have in common, though, their weird and foul dicks. She goes down on one demon and she mentions how awful his taste and smell is, yikes! Worse, she enjoys the sex! Gags a little at first, but once she gets used to it she sure loves it! No smelly/rotten genitals please, that’s my one rule.

Jenny Lyn said...

Like a few of the other posters, I've learned to just go with it because it's fiction. I can take or leave a rimming scene. Whatever happens before during and after is just part of the "fictional" act, and let's face it, there are a lot of aspects to anal sex that *thankfully* get glossed over in erotic romance. I mean, we all know how the body functions, right? If you took to making a sex scene sanitary, it's going to lose its punch, so to speak.

Lolita Lopez said...

It's not an issue for me. I mean, seriously, wander over to some of the more popular amateur porn sites and take a gander at the offerings. People in real life do some very dirty and questionable things during and after sex. It is what is is.

Heck, ATM used to be so taboo and available in only very racy, more hardcore kink porn. Now? Amateurs film themselves doing it. They sure as heck aren't stopping to brush their teeth or gargle mouth wash. So if it's happening IRL, it may as well happen between characters experiencing a passionate moment.

Rimming and kissing or giving oral and kissing or felching or snowballing or whatever don't bother me. Erotica and erotic romance is fantasy. Think of all the female characters who are anal sex virgins who suddenly take on one or two baton-sized penises after just a little poking and prodding and lube application. Now THAT's far-fetched!

As long as the author presents the moment in a sexy or even naughty-sexy way, I'm good with it.

Blodeuedd said...

Yea please wash your mouth! *hides from books like that*

mepamelia said...

@ Brie: have to agree R. Lee Smith has some very memorable sex in her books and not always in a "wow this is so hot" way, but often she shows the ick factor. She's still one of my favorite writers. Her book "Heat" is loaded with sex, much of it disturbing, plenty of it non-consensual and some of it downright sexy or romantic. This book also mixes sex with rather violent death a few times which was about the most disturbing thing I've read in awhile and still it manages to be one of the most compelling, best reads in my recent memory.
As for rimming -- I don't mind reading about it as long as there is at least some mouth-cleansing prior to kissing; yet oral sex involving genitalia to kissing doesn't bother me one bit.

KB/KT Grant said...

Anon: Ah yes, it makes you wonder how many people don't wash their hands after they use the bathroom.

Debra: The horsey love was jaw dropping for sure.

Barbara: I think readers will let things go because it is fiction, but some sex scenes just boggle my mind and it throws me out of the story.

Pam: hee hee ;)

Jenre: I've found there is more rimming in M/M. I can only think about 3 books I read where the sex act occurs between a man and a woman. Switching off the part of the brain that makes you go ewww is good advice. lol

Brie: Nasty smell peen? So so not sexy! What type of smell are we talking here?

Jenny: I love the anal sex scenes where there's no foreplay or lube used and the one guy will ram his penis into the woman or the man. That makes me cringe.

Lolita: Baton-sized in the backdoor? Ouch. Double ouch.


Blodeuedd: :)

Mepamelia: I've heard Smith's books are very graphic and hard core.

I also noticed in most books that the main couple will take showers but there's no mention of brushing of teeth. Hmm.

Tez Miller said...

the heroine is not only forced to have sex with a tree once, but twice.

Human-tree sex?!

Twimom227 said...

Interesting topic - although you did get me a bit distracted with Boo at the top of the post! Personally, it's not an issue for me. I'm in agreement with the first commenter... plus I don't need to read all of the details like going to the bathroom, brushing teeth, washing hands, etc. But really, it's to each their own. If you don't enjoy a scene, then you don't. There isn't anything wrong with it.

Sherry said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sherry said...

I've read quite a few books where the characters kiss after rimming at first it bothered me but now I really don't think anything about it. After that comment you'll probably think I'm crazy when I say it does bother me when a couple m/m or m/f have anal sex and they finish up with him cumming from a blow job. I guess it's because when they're rimming they can't go as deep as when they have anal sex. Sometimes it bothers me that it's never discussed whether the person receiving anal sex was "cleaned out".

KB/KT Grant said...

Tez: Second time the hero joins in on the fun.

Twimon: Now you will never look at Boo the same way again! muah.

Sherry: Oh yes! I get icked out when the couple is having sex and the man will take out his penis and his lover will then give him a BJ. O.o

Rebekah said...

i'm all late, but whatever. it doesn't bother me either. i think if its reasonable in real life its fair game, but i do agree its better when there is some sense that the area was thoroughly cleaned before the act, like rimming in the shower, etc.

food play during sex drives me NUTS. i read an Erin McCarthy romance that was great, but there's a sex scene with pixie sticks that threw me way out of the story. i also have limits with water sports and some other crazy stuff i've read in extreme BDSM stories, but rimming is no big deal to me as long as its written well.

Debra Hyde said...

Unless otherwise informed (and what right-minded author would otherwise inform?), I assume everyone's clean going into rimming. Keeps the visuals tidy, I guess. :)

What I find unbelievable is depictions of deep tonguing up the ass. The sphincter's a pretty darn tight perimeter and one's tongue isn't exactly rigid. I doubt anyone really gets at all far in...

But maybe that's TMI on my part. Sorry!