Book Spotlight: The Slayer by Theresa Meyers

Steampunk meets the wild, wild west? From the cover it looks that way. I've been seeing Theresa Meyers' name everywhere lately. This is the second book in a series that will be released on April 1st from Kensington. No excerpt available to read yet. I wonder if the romance is more on the subtle side?

Synopsis: Winn Jackson isn't interested in hunting nightmares across the Wild West--even if it's the family business. Unlike his rakehell brothers, Winn believes in rules. As sheriff of Bodie, California, he only shoots actual law breakers. That's what he's doing when he rescues the Contessa Drossenburg, Alexandra Porter, a lady with all the elegance of the Old World--grace, beauty and class. And then he sees her fangs.

Alexandra isn't just some bloodsucking damsel in distress, though. She's on a mission to save her people--and she's dead certain that Winn's family legacy is the only way. Luckily, aside from grace and class, she also has a stubborn streak a mile wide. So like it or not, Winn is going to come back with her to the mountains of Transylvania, and while he's at it, change his opinions about vampires, demon-hunting, and who exactly deserves shooting. And if she has her way, he's going to do his darnedest to save the world. .

Contest Winners! *Leanna Renee Hiber & Black Friday Blog Hop*

The two winners of the Leanna Renee Hieber contest are...

Teresa K. and Audra!

The winner of the Black Friday Blog Hop where one person wins a $25 Amazon Gift Certificate and a selection from my back list...

NA!

Please email me at KatiebabsgATgmailDOTcom for your prizes.

When She Woke Book Review *Hillary Jordan*

When She Woke by Hillary Jordan is one scary book. It shows why religion, specifically the radical aspect of it can be damaging. When She Woke hit me hard up to a certain point because I grew up in a very traditional Catholic home and abided by these rules taught by my parents and my teachers. We were not only taught the fire and brimstone version of the bible, but also the beauty and peaceful side that I prefer to believe in. When She Woke shows the bad side and is a very subjective story for the reader because of the topic of religion and how it can be important to a person’s life. Some allow religion and their faith to make them what they are, while others aren’t so consumed by their faith and use it in ways they see fit. This is one book I can see many talking about for years to come, but unfortunately the explosive bang in their first half deflates and leads to a very disappointing ending.

When She Woke is a futuristic take on Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter, which is one book everyone must read at some point in their lives. The Dystopian setting is where religion has become an integral part of government. It’s a very fanatical world Hannah Payne lives in. Hannah is one who accepts her faith much like her parents and sister, but likes to question it. An example is when she was a child, she asked a question about Noah’s Ark and why there were no dinosaurs on it. Her mother thinks it’s wrong for her to ask such questions and should take everything their religion is at face value. She can’t understand this line of logic, and silently defies her mother, although her father is more reasonable.

In this world, if a person has committed a crime, they aren’t incarcerated. Their punishment deals with their skin being melachromed for the length of their sentence. If you’re a convicted child molester, you’re blue, a drug addict or those who commit lesser crimes are yellow and a murderer is red. Hannah has become a red when the novel opens. She has been convicted of murder by aborting her unborn child, which is illegal. She refused to name the father because she wishes to protect him. Hannah broke one of God’s laws and had an affair with a married man, the Reverend Aidan Dale, who's the secretary of the faith under the president of the United States. Aidan, who was her first lover. She couldn’t live with herself if she outed him and since she had no other solution, she aborted her baby.

Now as a Chrome, Hannah is not only ostracized by her family, but society. She also questions God, who she feels has left her not because of the actions she took, but with Aidan, who she now believes never loved her to begin with. She’s all alone and scared. But then she’s given a way to escape and start again with no judgment. Hannah meets an underground group of people who are against the government and how they use religion to control people. They want to help Hannah because they believe in a woman’s right to choose about her own body and not fall victim to what society feels is morally correct. Hannah has no other choice but to trust these strangers and hope for the best.

When She Work is a chilling read and shows perfectly why separation of church and state is very important. I can’t even imagine living in this world. It brings to light all the wrongs of what religion and faith is about. Religion, such as the one shown in this book, shouldn’t be used as discipline and as a threat. That’s what’s used by cults and fanatically groups. Religious faith is what YOU make of it regardless of what the bible or the religious higher powers may decree.

The first half of When She Woke is gripping and suspenseful. I really had doubts about Hannah. I didn’t expect her to survive. She’s unfortunately naive because of her upbringing. I totally understood her fears and the heartbreaking decision she made concerning her pregnancy. She will be haunted by her actions for the rest of her life. Some may think Aidan is weak, but he’s a man caught in a situation of his own making he can’t escape. He turns to Hannah for some sense of relief and contentment while feeling shame for breaking the bonds of matrimony.

There are two big issues I couldn’t get passed and made When She Woke a less powerful read than I thought it would be. Hannah is looking for love and acceptance. She comes across as greedy in this aspect. If she’s with someone who will love her, she’ll be complete and whole. She relies on people way too much. Again, I think this is because of her upbringing, but I felt her instinct and will to survive rang false. She doesn’t know who she is and what she wants. Based on her internal musings, she’s in dire need of direction and not even the divine hand of God can help her. She looks for signs from God, anything to point her in the right path. God has become her crutch and I found that annoying and paints her in an unsympathetic light. The point of having God (or so I believe) is to make one a stronger person who looks within themselves for strength.

The second issue, which is a spoiler, is where Hannah has a lesbian sexual experience with one of the women who help her. This encounter comes out of nowhere because at no time during the course of the novel are we led to believe that Hannah is attracted to women. I couldn’t figure out what the point of this scene was. Was it to show how intimacy in any form, regardless of it being with a man and woman, is right and beautiful? If so, I’ve missed the point here.

When She Woke makes some valid arguments and really is a thought provoking novel. But when all was said and don’t, I think it went on too long and the final outcome wasn’t as profound as it should have been. (Algonquin Books)

Final Grade: C+

A few other When She Woke reviews:
Bookalicious
Sophisticated Dorkiness
Washington Post

Guest Author Post: Fetishising Male Paraphernalia by Joanna "Tumperkin" Chambers *Book Giveaway*

How thrilled am I to be blogging here?  KB was one of the first people to befriend me when I stuck my toe in the waters of the online romance world (some years ago now) and she's still consistently welcoming and inclusive to new people.  Thanks for having me over, KB!

So, yes, I have released a book!  The Lady's Secret is published by Carina Press (buy it here).  It tells the story of Georgy Knight who embarks on a quest to prove she and her twin brother Harry are legitimate and that Harry is the true Earl of Dunsmore.  To gain entrance to Dunsmore Manor to search for evidence, she dresses as a man and obtains a post as Nathan (the hero's) valet. 

I had a lot of fun with that set up, in particular, around the dressing and undressing (and shaving, washing, and, um rubbing) of Nathan.  I loved the idea of putting my heroine into the closest and most intimate contact with the hero I possibly could.  I wanted to have her invade his most personal space and see the real him, both literally and figuratively.   You can read an excerpt of the type of thing I'm talking about here.

I must admit that I do find male Regency fashions very appealing (breeches, boots, cravats – what's not to like?) and as I wrote the valet scenes, I found myself dwelling on certain objects and routines, to an almost fetishistic degree.

Male clothing generally:

http://bit.ly/rZbioF

Clean linen—drawers, a shirt, a cravat. All of it pristine white, and the cravat starched to perfect straightness. Silk hose. A tall, black curly-brimmed hat that she turned over and over in her hands, enjoying its craftsmanship, the pleasing lines of it, its dense, velvety blackness. She brought out his riding boots, cleaned just yesterday, even the soles. They were so polished they looked as though they’d never been worn.

Cravats, and the removal thereof

http://bit.ly/sDlHXA

She went to hang the coat and when she turned back to face him he lifted his chin in unspoken command. She stepped back and raised her hands to untie and draw the cravat from his neck. The long length of it whispered against his skin.

Boots, and the removal thereof

http://bit.ly/w12rJc

Harland sat down on the bed. “Help me off with these boots, there’s a good chap.” He stretched a leg out and leaned back, gazing at Georgy from beneath lowered lids.

Their eyes met for just an instant and Georgy felt a jolt in her chest. She looked quickly away, down at his booted leg. It was unlike him to look directly at her. She reached forward to grasp the heel of his boot in one hand and the toe in the other and pulled it off in one smooth controlled movement, placing the boot neatly on the floor beside her. He stretched the other leg out and she dealt with that boot too. Then she glanced back at his face again, expecting his attention to have wandered.

He was still looking at her.

Facial hair, and the removal thereof

http://bit.ly/tjntUU

The razor’s cool severity kissed Nathan’s neck and swept slowly upwards, gliding over his throat and along his jawline, stroking his cheeks. To shave the upper lip, Fellowes placed his cool fingers on Nathan’s face, tautening the flesh for the blade. It bit at the base of his nose, just short of nicking him, and then with a few flicks, the skin was smooth.

As Fellowes wiped away the last of the lather with the towel, Nathan stayed where he was, waiting, eyes still closed. A few moments passed before Fellowes gently placed a steaming hot, clove-scented flannel on his face.

Ah, heaven.

Man, I enjoyed writing those scenes.

What about you?  What bit of male (or female) paraphernalia makes your heart beat a little faster?

You can find Joanna at her author website

http://joannachambers.com

reader blog at http://tumperkin.blogspot.com

Twitter - @ChambersJoanna

Facebook - http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002993543568

CONTEST TIME:

The Lady's Secret is now available at Carina Press but one lucky person will win a copy! In order to win, leave a comment here by Thursday, 12/1.

Synopsis: London, 1810

Former actress Georgiana Knight always believed she and her brother were illegitimate—until they learn their parents were married, making them heirs to a great estate. To prove their claim, Georgy needs to find evidence of their union by infiltrating a ton house party as valet to Lord Nathaniel Harland. Though masquerading as a boy is a challenge, it pales in comparison to sharing such intimate quarters with the handsome, beguiling nobleman.

Nathan is also unsettled by Georgy's presence. First intrigued by his unusual valet, he's even more captivated when he discovers Georgy's charade. The desire the marriage-shy earl feels for his enigmatic employee has him hoping for much more than a master-servant relationship...

But will Nathan still want Georgy when he learns who she truly is? Or will their future be destroyed by someone who would do anything to prevent Georgy from uncovering the truth?

WTFckery or Not? You Decide

Here comes so LOL WTFckery...

1. Some WTFckery covers, anyone?

Le hot beagle? Come and knock on my door...

Looks like a tricycle road over her butt

Um, nice scenery?

2. In this case, do we ignore who the author is and just review the work? What if the author is a convicted serial killer?  From Jezebel:

"J.D. Bauer is an outspoken environmentalist who's written a young adult novel called Quest for Water. Incidentally, he's also a serial killer.

Earlier this week, The Province reported that Bauer was actually Charles Kembo, a Canadian man currently in prison for murdering his wife, his mistress, his friend, and his stepdaughter. A judge called him "a serial killer, a very dangerous man." But during his trial, he also released The Trinity of Superkidds: Quest for Water, a story of, in his words, "teen aged heros gifted with a variety of exotic superpowers which they use to inspire, raise awareness and vanquish water waste and pollution in a fun, fast-paced adventure." The book has sold impressively well, with all proceeds apparently going to the World Food Programme.

Some Amazon users are critical of the decision to list the book — says one, "It's horrifying that a serial killer is allowed to do ANYTHING under a pseudonym, much less something geared towards children. Maybe if more people are informed regarding the author, they will be less inclined to purchase anything to help line the pockets of a convicted murderer." Others disagree: "To all those who are rating this book low and saying it should be taken off the site, just remember that some of our most famous authors were pedophiles and much much worse. If you don't like the guy, then hate the guy, not the book."

3. I guess anybody will do anything for a nice butt. This story is a true OMGWTFBBQ. From the NY Daily News:

"A transgender woman in South Florida faces charges of practicing cosmetic surgery without a license, after police say she injected an unwitting patient’s buttocks with a handful of unsafe substances, including tire mender Fix-A-Flat, NBC reported.

The botched butt implant sent the unidentified woman to the hospital. The injection took place in a residential setting, where Morris shot a mix of cement, glue, mineral oil and tire sealant into the woman’s buttocks, ABC reported.

“[A] short time later, she develops very serious pains, abdomen, throughout her body,” Bamford told the network affiliate. “She knows something’s wrong.”

The woman rushed to Tampa General Hospital, where she was treated for infection and pneumonia, but would not divulge Morris’ name, according to the report."

4. The World's Largest Bra (Size 1222B). "Guinness World Records has officially recognized the bright pink bra, which hangs from the ITV Southbank building and was unveiled on Oct. 28, as the world's largest."

6. Would you buy and live in a Hobbit sized house for $6,000? From Gizmodo:

"Simon Dale constructed this eco-friendly home for less than £3,000 in less than four months time. It's built primarily from scrap. Reused stones and mud from a local quarry were employed in the foundation while salvaged wood makes up the timber-frame construction.

The home is dug into a hillside to minimize its impact on the landscape and to provide insulation. The roof is a combination of hay bales (again for insulation) and water-proof plastic sheets. Dale diverted a nearby spring for water, though there's no information on what (or if) he uses to generate electricity."

7. A perfect cake for a baby shower. From Cakewrecks: 

Even comes with it's own cute zebra!

8. By now you may have heard of University of California, Davis, security pepper spraying students? Well, Defense Technology 56895 MK-9 Stream, 1.3% Red Band/1.3% Blue Band Pepper Spray is being spotlights with some excellent reviews posted on Amazon, like this one:

Accept no substitutes when casually repressing students

"Whenever I need to breezily inflict discipline on unruly citizens, I know I can trust Defense Technology 56895 MK-9 Stream, 1.3% Red Band/1.3% Blue Band Pepper Spray to get the job done! The power of reason is no match for Defense Technology's superior repression power. When I reach for my can of Defense Technology 56895 MK-9 Stream, 1.3% Red Band/1.3% Blue Band Pepper Spray, I know that even the mighty First Amendment doesn't stand a chance against its many scovil units of civil rights suppression.

When I feel threatened by students, no matter how unarmed, peaceful and seated they may be, I know that Defense Technology 56895 MK-9 Stream, 1.3% Red Band/1.3% Blue Band Pepper Spray has got my back as I casually spray away at point blank range.

It really is the Cadillac of citizen repression technology.

Buy a whole case!"

9. Some interesting titles movies for those who are bored watching the same old crap...

Codependent Lesbian Space Alien Seeks Same

Synopsis: The adventures of lesbian space aliens on the planet Earth, and the story of the romance between Jane, a shy greeting card store employee, and Zoinx, the woman Jane does not realize is from outer-space. Meanwhile, two government agents, or 'Men In Black, ' are closely tracking Jane and the aliens while harboring their own secrets.

And perfect for some late night holiday viewing...

The Gingerdead Man. How can you go wrong with Academy Award nominated actor, Gary Busey?

Synopsis: An evil yet adorable Gingerbread man comes to life with the soul of a convicted killer - this real life cookie monster wreaks havoc on the girl who sent the killer to the electric chair.

10. And your Regretsy WTFckery of the week is pretty spooky! (Thanks to Jess Haines)

Hope you have enjoyed this latest in everything WTFckery!

Awesone WTFckery: Watch Out for the Vodka Tampon Craze!

Some WTFckeries are meant to be spotlighted in their own post.The vodka tampon craze is one of them.

What's the tampon vodka craze you may ask?

"According to the report by KPHO-TV, a CBS affiliate in Phoenix, the vodka tampon craze is not just a local curiosity.The fad has also caught on with teenage boys. "Everywhere in America, boys are soaking tampons in vodka and literally getting drunk off their asses," Stephen Colbert quipped."

Late Night with Stephen Colbert is quite possibly the funniest and most honest of any show on television. This 4 minute report from Stephen about vodka tampons will have you dying from the funny.

You can't make this stuff up!

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive

Black Friday Blog Hop Begins! *Kindle Fire and Other Awesome Prizes Up For Grabs!*

Welcome to our Black Friday blog hop! See below for the huge list of prizes!

One random commenter (can be on any of the blogs) will win a Kindle Fire, along with all the prizes below!

Prizes:

- Cassandra Carr: copy of either of my two current releases, Talk to Me or Head Games
- Kristabel Reed: back list copy of one of her stories and then on her own blog a $10 GC plus a copy of her newest release, Risque, a Regency Menage Tale
- Lucy Felthouse: back list copy of any of her single-title books
- Cari Quinn: back list copy of one of her books
- Leigh Elwood: two back list copies of her books
- Natasha Blackthorne: copies of her two Regency era novellas: Grey’s Lady and Waltz of Seduction
- Amber Kallyn: e-copy of Dragos 1
- Camryn Rhys: Kindle copies of The Barn Dance and Off the Record – Foodie Erotic Romances
- Lissa Matthews: two of her back list books
- Misa Buckley: an e-copy of Ironhaven and To Reach the Dawn
- Lacey Wolfe: a copy of Ambers Muse
- Courtney Sheets: a $25 GC to Ravenous Romance and a copy of Kona Warrior – PDF
- Sara Brookes: an e-copy of one of my back list books
- Cynthia Arsuaga: a copy of an e-book, and on her own blog five book charm book tethers
- Louisa Bacio: .pdf copy of my first book in The Vampire, The Witch & The Werewolf series, and on her own blog a $10 certificate to Ravenous Romance, and each commenter will also be entered to win a Goody Bag of new Orleans treats
- Malia Mallory: one copy each of The ABC’s of Erotica and Santa’s Back Door Baby
- Cynthia Eden: a copy of Angel of Darkness (either print or digital)
- Carrie Ann Ryan: an e-copy of The Alpha’s Path
- Jacquie Rogers: a Smashwords coupon for Faery Merry Christmas, plus on her own blog, a free copy of Much Ado About Marshals
- KT Grant: a print copy of Sweet & Sinful and an ebook copy of her next release, Xavier’s Loving Arms.

So what are the rules? Simple: visit as many of the blogs as you can and leave a comment for the blog owner. For every comment, you’ll get one entry into the grand-prize drawing. Be sure to leave your e-mail address with every comment so we can find you if you win! And don’t forget that several blog owners are giving away prizes specific to their blog, too!

One winner will be chosen on Saturday morning using random.org. Cassandra Carr will get in touch with the winner of the Kindle Fire and then each blog owner with a prize will contact the winner themselves to arrange delivery of said prize.

I'm also sweetening the deal for anyone who leaves a comment here. Not only will you have a chance to win any of the prizes above, but I'm also donating a $25 Amazon gift certificate, including any other book from my backlist.

This is my thank you for everyone who has support me. I'm giving thanks to all you great people who support authors and love to read.
 .
UPDATE: The winner of the Kindle Fire and the other prizes has been chosen. But the $25 gift certificate and a book from my back list is still available until tomorrow.

Happy Gobble Gobble!

For those who celebrate Thanksgiving, I hope you and those you love have a fabulous day filled with happy and joy and all that fun jazz.

Enjoy your dinner...

And your dessert...

More at Cakewrecks

And perhaps watch some great holiday movies or TV shows...

How About Some Holiday Reading? Yule Be Mine: Volume 2

My holiday story from last year- The Christmas Fantasy is in a print anthology with three other Decadent Publishing authors!

Say hello to Yule Be Mine: Volume 2!

Decadent Publishing for $13.99. Click here to purchase!

The Ghost of Vampire Present by Seleste deLaney – Jocelyn has finally found her knight in shining armor in Chad, and ghosts are the last thing on her mind. Even when one shows up in her bedroom on Christmas Eve, Jocelyn's a bit more concerned about the other guests on the agenda. She'd prefer to never see another vampire, and the ghost tells her to expect not one, but three…


Last Christmas by A. Faris – ‘Tis the season to be merry…’ But not when you’re on the trail of a time insurgent, and facing a demon’s servant at every turn. For Nadine, Christmas is a jinx. Two deaths in the family and an estrangement, all on the blessed occasion, she spends every Christmas alone since. A knock on her door reveals a mysterious stranger, a stranger who kisses sweet, knows her soul and offers his heart with no reservations. Not everything is as it seems, however, with more at stake than Nadine thinks…

The Christmas Fantasy by KT Grant – On a mission to lose her virginity before her thirtieth birthday on Christmas Day, Mandy Lockeheart plans to seduce the only man she’s ever loved; her brother’s best friend, firefighter Jackson Montgomery. With the sexy new body she’s worked hard to earn, she’s certain she can convince him to fulfill her fantasies…

Unwrapping Scrooge by Anne Holly – Bestselling author Kale McKinnon is a modern Scrooge – eccentric, misanthropic and reclusive, made bitter by the coldness of his wealthy family. But when optimistic Canadian graduate student Molly Gillis visits Oxford and invades his space, he realizes Christmas is about to change for him forever. But can he make her stay, and force himself to un-Scrooge enough to be the right man for her?


Fateful Book Review *Claudia Gray*

Fateful by Claudia Gray should be a rousing, all-consuming romance between a young woman and man who aren’t meant to be together. The reason Fateful doesn’t work in this regard is because Claudia relies on so many clichés and has a, “been there, done that feel”. Her heroine, the overworked Tess Davies, is well written and her love interest, the rich and charismatic Alex is everything a young woman would want in a man, but when it comes to the other characters around them, that’s were there's a multitude of one-dimensionality and ridiculousness. The villain is over the top uber-evil and Tess’s employers are inane and slapstick. On the surface, Fateful looks to be an original story during a setting that’s not usually written, especially in YA (or at least the ones I’ve read), but it’s far from being original. Fateful is Twilight, meets The Howling, meets the Titanic. This mash up of popular movies told in story form makes this a very lacking and forgettable novel.

Fateful had such promise, but mid-way through it falters and sinks like the ship these characters are stuck on.

Tess works for the Viscount Lisle and his family. Lady Regina Lisle is verbally abusive to Tess because of Tess’s servant status. The Lisles are headed to New York City on the wonder ship, the RMS Titanic. When the ship docks in America, Tess will take her hard earnings and start a new life for herself. The night before they’re set to leave, Tess is sent out on an errand. She comes across an older man in a Vandyke beard who attacks her. She saved by a younger man who ends up on the Titanic also. Tess’s savior is the American, Alec Marlowe, the heir to Marlowe Steel. Lady Regina would love nothing more for her daughter, Irene to marry Alec. But Alec doesn’t seem enamored of Irene and prefers to spend time with Tess, to her confusion and dismay.

The man who attacked Tess is also on the ship. He’s Mikhail and set on getting rid of Tess for no reason. He stalks her on the ship just because he enjoys seeing her scared. Before he can kill her, Alec comes to her rescue again. She learns that both Mikhail and Alec can transform in werewolves. Mikhail is part of a secret brotherhood who will stop at nothing to take over the world. Mikhail wants Alec and his father to join the Brotherhood so he can control them. Mikhail also wants whatever is in a special box the Lisles’ own and will stop a nothing until he obtains what’s inside. Alec becomes Tess’s protector and will try to keep her safe from the evil Mikhail. And then an iceberg hits the Titanic and things go from bad to worse.

Fateful does have interesting moments of tension and suspense with a claustrophobic feel to it. The tragic nature that comes to pass isn’t a surprise because of the well-known events that take place on the Titanic and its sinking. There’s also a nice historic atmosphere here with appropriate fashion and dialogue of the time. But with all these winning combinations, I found myself bored with the constant danger surrounding Alec and Tess.

Fateful was like a bad B horror movie because Mikhail is cartoonish and not frightening in any sense of the word. The least Alec and his father could do was throw Mikhail overboard and take on the Brotherhood on dry land. That would get rid of the immediate problem plaguing Alec. Sounds bloodthirsty, but there’s a great deal of bloodthirsty fun on part of Mikhail and the spooky evil brotherhood. I found myself rolling my eyes, and when I read half-way through and groaned because the book was far from over, I stopped.

This is DNF territory for me. When you find yourself uninvolved with the plight of the main characters and even their budding, and what should be a luscious romance falls flat, that’s when you move onto something most satisfying. I can see many of Claudia’s fans and young readers enjoying Fateful because it has many appealing attributes, but I had too many issues to continue on. (HarperTeen)

Final Grade: DNF

A few other Fateful book reviews:

Anna Reads

All Things Urban Fantasy

Lost Amongst the Shelves

Early Black Friday Book Sale! 30% Off at Smashwords for KT Grant Decadent Publishing Titles!

Some shameless author promotion on my part...

My publisher, Decadent Publishing is offering 30% off their titles over at Smashwords in honor of Black Friday. My books are included in this promotion until Monday!

http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/ktgrant

Use these codes to get 30% off my Decadent titles: (Normally these titles vary from $2.99-$3.99.)

For the Love of Mollie: DD77F

The Claiming of Suzy: NT69A

The Christmas Fantasy: CB55Y

Book Spotlight: Simple Gifts by LB Gregg

Not only is LB Gregg one of my favorite M/M authors, but an awesome person and one who I look up to. Because of her publishing journey, she gave me the self-confidence to write and try to get published. It should come as no surprise that I will pimp out any book she has coming out.

I'm happy to say that LB has a new release from Musa Publishing that will be available for purchase this Friday.

Synopsis: A former ward of the state, Jason Ferris is protective of his carefully guarded private life. When he's felled by a rogue lawn ornament at a Christmas party, Jason finds himself in the care of his first and most devastating love-- dark, dangerous, and equally damaged Lt. Robb Sharpe.

Newly returned from years away in the military, Robb's homecoming isn't exactly the stuff of fairy tales. Now thrust together after a ten year hiatus, Jason and Robb discover that perhaps some things are worth waiting for.

Click here to read an excerpt.

A hot little story to enjoy during the holidays!

My Experience Watching Breaking Dawn *With Some Spoilers*

This past weekend I went to see Breaking Dawn part 1 like all the other Twi-hards. I’m a fan of the Twilight series and don’t deny it, but I also enjoying poking fun at it. I’m one of the millions (or rather I should say hundreds of millions) who have read the series in its entirety. When I read Breaking Dawn, my reaction was WTFOMGBBQ because let’s be honest, the WTFOMGBBQ isn’t because Bella gets pregnant the first time she has sex on her honeymoon to her sparkly dreamboat of a vampire husband, but the fact that her daughter is the imprinted mate of the other boy she rejected who has lusted for her as much as her new husband has. Breaking Dawn angered me in so many ways because making Jacob a pedo is not my idea of a HEA that evokes rainbows, a field of pretty daises and cute puppy dogs.

You better believe when Breaking Dawn came out into the theater, I planned on going. And so I went to the Saturday night showing and dragged my mom along because she lets me whisper sweet snark to her during movies without wanting to slap me across the face.

By now you’ve probably read many opinion pieces and reviews about Breaking Dawn. Hopefully I can give you a different spin on my experience watching part 1 of Breaking Dawn. How in the world will there be enough of a plot to fill another 2 hour movie for part 2 is beyond me. But when part one has made $140 million in its first weekend, it’s no surprised the studio wants more of the cha-ching. It worked for the final Harry Potter movie, so why not the final Twilight movie? (yes, I dare compare Harry Potter to Twilight. I’m a bad woman).

I got to the theater an hour before because we thought it would be sold out. There was no reason for it to be sold out when there are 3,500 theaters statewide to choose from, and at some, like the one I went to, had two showings at the same time. But we got our pick of the seats. The female ratio to males was overwhelming large as you can imagine. But I was pleasantly surprised that there were more than enough boys or men there. Keep in mind most of these men where with their girlfriends, wives or were poor fathers who took one for the team and accompanied their daughters to the showing.

My favorite part of going to the theater besides the actual movie are the trailers. The trailers shown were great. We were shown Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows, some Nicholas Sparks wannbe movie with two actors who have starred in a Nicholas Sparks movie already and the awesome looking, The Woman in Black. I was surprised with The Hunger Games trailer. There was no reaction, no cheers or whispers of excitement. I wonder what this means for the movie because the Twilight audience is pretty much the same one The Hunger Games is geared to.

Then Breaking Dawn started!  

Spoilers ahoy…

It had the greatest opening in all the Twilight movies. Not even a minute in, Jacob tears off his shirt in anger and we see his abs of wonder. Unfortunately, this is the only time we see Jacob’s abs of wonder or his spectacular pecs and biceps (I’m allowed to drool over him now because he’s legal). He ends up wearing a T-shirt and jeans throughout the entire movie.

Bella and Edward are finally getting married. Bella has a nightmare where Edward eats the wedding guests. Edward see her the night before their wedding and tells her he was once a bad vampire because he ended up killing people. He was quite the baby vampire rebel back in the roaring twenties. But it was all good because his victims were all killers and rapists. Plus they were all men. That made me go hmmm…

The wedding was beautifully done. You see Stephenie Meyers at least 4 times during the scene and even a close up of her face. She was all smiles because hello, she has enough money to buy a small country. Bella’s hair really needs a haircut and was poorly styled. But her dress was gorgeous. Her mother is a twit because what mother in her right mind would be happy her daughter is getting married at eighteen? Her father Charlie (I adore Billy Burke and he’s works a mustache so well) steals the first half of the movie because he reacts exactly as a father should in regards to his eighteen year old daughter getting married. His speech at the wedding was the funniest thing where he says he’s a cop and can hunt and shoot people. He gives Edward the hairy eyeball because he knows Edward is going to deflower his daughter. God help Edward when Charlie finds out he impregnated Bella, she dies and gives birth to the demon seed. But that’s in part 2 so not important here.

Jacob appears and is angry emo that Bella is going to have sex while human with Edward on her honeymoon.

Jacob: But he'll kill you, Bella! (he actually says this line)

Bella: But I won’t die a virgin and while I have my first climax by sparkly vampire, my body will be torn in two. The pleasure will be much stronger than the pain. Hurrah!

Bella and Edward go to their island paradise and both are very nervous. I will say the honeymoon scene was my favorite part in the movie since it’s my favorite in the book because it’s before all the WTFOMGBQ crap. Bella shaves her legs for some reason, which you’d think she’d do the morning of getting married. She and Edward go skinny dipping in the ocean under a beautiful moon (aww) and the Edward breaks the headboard and tears the pillows apart while he holds back giving Bella her “O’s”.

The honeymoon scene was pushing the envelope with the PG-13 rating and a woman in front of me covered her daughter’s eyes during it. Edward does a little thrusting and Bella has an “O” face. I didn’t see anything wrong with how it was filmed, but again I’m an adult woman. But for the younger under 13 set, parents may want to take care. Still, it was sexy and I thought it fit the mood and was romantic and all the jazz. I was disappointed that not once did Edward sparkle! You'd think he'd have some sort of glow after waiting one-hundred years to finally do the deed with his heart's desire. Bella was glowing all over the place and wanted more.

And then the WTFckery begins. Bella ends up preggers, she returns home to the Cullen fold and in less than a month is dying as the baby inside her sucks her life away. The effects during these scenes where Bella is emaciated because she starving from lack of nutrition were fantastic. But then she’s given a sippy cup full of blood with a straw and she’s happy. She even says it taste good. Jacob’s reaction to this was haha cute. Jacob is still very much angry emo again because the it inside of Bella is killing her. Also there were many sly references to Jacob’s wolf peeps wanting to imprint on someone. Hmmm, I wonder why.

Jacob goes rogue because Sam, the alpha wolf wants to kill the it in Bella because it’s an abomination and can destroy the world! For some reason Jacob doesn’t want to kill the it. I wonder why?

Bella’s labor scene was so disappointing! There wasn’t enough gore and blood like I was expecting. When you read it, it’s much more graphic and makes you never want to have children. But then again this is a PG-13 movie.

And then the feat of all feats, the most awesome WTFckery of all is where Jacob decides he’s going to kill the demon baby because it killed Bella! He sneaks up behind Rosalie, who’s crooning to the demon baby, and no joke, new born baby, Renesmee (or who I fondly have nicknamed, Loch Nessie) and Jacob lock eyes. Jacob drops to his knees and has an acid trip where the heavenly hosts above show his future with Nessie (there's church music in the background. I expected a robed chorus to appear). And all is right with the world.

 Ugly Doll stand in for Nessie.

It ends with Edward welcoming Jacob as his son-in-law and waiting for Bella’s eyes to open because we all know what happens to her next (she doesn’t come into her sparkle just yet, but has a nice marble statue look to her).

And thus ends part 1 leading into part 2 with a segue showing the Volturi and Aro aka Michael Sheen, who I hope is given more screen time and actually acts this time around instead of just smiling like a psycho because he truly is an awesome actor.

For what it’s worth, Breaking Dawn wasn’t a bad movie. If you’re a fan of the book, you’ll enjoy the movie. It stuck by the plot of the book as a whole, even though there was more introspective from Jacob’s point of view. Also there was some questionable errors such as the morning after Bella wakes up after sparkly vampire sex, she has one or two bruises and isn’t hobbling or grimacing in pain. You’d expect s a virgin to have some discomfort for her first time even if her husband wasn’t a vampire who can crush a bed with his bare hands. Also at one point Edward is pumping Bella’s chest as a form of CPR. Since Edward has to watch his strength around Bella, I expected him to do more harm than good and crush her chest. But then Bella’s back broke from demon a baby, so what other damage could he do?

Do I think there should be a part 2? No. I have a feeling the final movie is going to be one big ZZZ fest even with the Volturi coming to cause havoc and Jacob walking around in a happy daze with his former flame’s daughter who’s his mate. Now it makes perfect sense why he had such a special connection with Bella.

Bleck.

It will be interesting to see how the second part of Breaking Dawn is played out and if after this whole hubba balloo with this series and movies is over, how long it will take for another literary sensation like Twilight to take over the world and for Hollywood to go crazy with it? I think it will be a long time coming, and even with The Hunger Games, I can’t see that series setting the movie world on fire like the Twilight series has.

Mho stand in for Bella.

For those who saw Breaking Dawn this weekend, how was your experience?

WTFckery of Not? You Decide

Here comes the wild world of the WTFckery...

1. Some wacky book covers coming your way!

Barbie leg menage?

Melted wax face girl?

I have no clue what is going on here. A man and his special relationship with his gym towel that shifts into a wolf?

2. The YA genre is getting very interesting with what's being published. Not only do we have a girl and her special relationship with cows, but..

"Then one day Owen Oak, a dairyman’s son, teaches Emmeline to churn milk into butter."(My pervy mind is in overdrive now)

Synopsis: Emmeline Thistle has always had a mysterious bond with cows, beginning on the night of her birth, when the local bovines saved the infant cast aside to die in the forest. But Emmeline was unaware that this bond has also given her a magical ability to transform milk into chocolate, a very valuable gift in a kingdom where chocolate is more rare and more precious than gold or jewels. Then one day Owen Oak, a dairyman’s son, teaches Emmeline to churn milk into butter – and instead she creates a delicious chocolate confection that immediately makes her a target for every greedy, power-hungry person in the kingdom of Anglund. Only Owen loves Emmeline for who she truly is, not her magical skill. But is his love enough to save her from the danger all around her?

3. This latest review from Scooper Speaks for Helen Scott Taylor's The Ruby Kiss had me dying based on this:

"He flicked open the button on his jeans. Languorous heat flooded Ruby’s body as he lowered the zipper. Hard, sleek muscles rippled with every movement, and when he pushed his jeans down over his hips, every other thought fled her mind. Little flickers of heat raced through her, making her so hot she thought she might melt.

“Strewth,” she whispered. “That’s one for the record books.” Night shade had a tadger the size of a rolling pin. “Ruby, you’re special,” he whispered.–p. 26"

And there's more!

“I might be too big to fit,” he whispered, glancing down in consternation. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Her eyelids snapped up, and she stared down at where they were so close to joining. Her voice was breathless. “It’ll fit. Just push harder before I die of anticipation.” She was right, and it was wonderful. The slow deep slide as he filled her left her trembling.–p. 210

Let's here it for the rolling pin peen!

Scooter: "Too bad I was still fixated on his rolling pin sized schlong and cringing at how loose she must have been to fit the abnormally large pecker belonging to her swain. But enough about the hero’s phallus. What else stands out about the book in addition to Nightshade’s Kielbasa?"

4. Awesome WTFckery. Girl Scout cookie flavored lip balm! From The Consumerist:

"Lip Smacker is behind the genius (and we don't use that word lightly) product line, which includes five fantastic flavors: Thin Mints, Trefoils, Chocolate Peanut Butter (Tagalongs), Peanut Butter (Do-si-dos), and Coconut Caramel Stripes (Samoas."

5. I would love to have a chair like this:

7. Would you eat gold encrusted cheese? From Newslite TV: 

Cheese made out of real gold… costs £60 per slice

"hope will be an indulgent addition to your Christmas menu -- a Stilton cheese made of real gold.

Clawson Stilton Gold will sell for £60.87 per 100g slice, or £608 a kilo -- that's 67 times more pricey than regular Stilton.

Taking the title of the most expensive UK cheese ever made it would even cost £6 just for the cheese to top one cracker."

8. Look on in awe at the most expensive photo in the world! "It’s the Rhine River. A chromogenic color print face-mounted to acrylic glass that had a pre-sale estimate of $2.5 million to $3.5 million." From Animal New York:

9. I'm not even going there...how is this possible? From Gizmodo:

Buzz Lightyear Should Not Be Inside Your Ass

"The image is from the recent hit from powerhouse genre x-rays of weird things inside asses, "Stuck Up!: 100 Objects Inserted and Ingested in Places They Shouldn't Be."

10. Need another ornament for your Christmas tree? Thanks to Lori at the Pure Imagination blog.

11. If you're addicted to reality TV, then you'll get a kick out of this new magazine. From the NY Times:

"American Media Inc., publisher of the National Enquirer, Star and Radar Online, will publish a new magazine devoted exclusively to reality television.

Reality Weekly will hit newsstands the first week in January, and it is priced to sell. At just $1.79 an issue it is, as the cover boasts, “Less money/More fun!”

Reality Weekly would appear to have both supply and demand working in its favor, despite a softening market for celebrity gossip magazines. The public has a hearty appetite for reality television that isn’t showing any signs of being sated. Reality shows continue to draw strong ratings and, in the case of the Kardashians and “Jersey Shore,” record audiences"

12. And your Regretsy WTFckery is a perfect holiday gift for those who are fans of Star Trek and want a freaky looking baby Spock to add to their doll collection.

I hope you have enjoyed this week's greatest in the WTFckery!