Sunday, November 6, 2011

WTFckery or Not? You Decide

First off, a bit of  book WTFckery to get things rolling...

1. Let's hope mother and son incest doesn't becoming a new trend for next year O.o


Synopsis: When Carol Olson learned that her son was having unprotected sex with his high school classmates, she was shocked. When she learned that some of the kid's in his school had tested positive for HIV, she new that she had to take desperate measures to keep her son safe. So she took matters into her own hands, very literally, and didn't stop there. Readers who enjoy stories of mother-son sex will definitely read this book with one hand.

This is no joke. I was sent this for a possible review. Anyone interested in reviewing An Inconvenient Amish Zombie Left Behind The Da Vinci Diet Code Truth?

Hello Katie:

I would love to have you review my novel An Inconvenient Amish Zombie Left Behind The Da Vinci Diet Code Truth in Babbling about Books, and More.

Goya? Bad Diets? Mud Hens? The Rapture? The War of 1812? Global Warming? Political Conspiracy? Peshtigo? Violence on USA borders? The lost history of Soft Rock? The Waffle House?

Follow the non-stop action, as past and future collide to create an apocalyptical present.

From the museums and cafes of Paris, Rome, and Barcelona through the centers of Chicago, New York, and Los Angeles to the fast food rest stops and motels of Wisconsin, Michigan, and Ohio, a shocking disappearance pulls people from all walks of life into a conflict that will determine the fate of the planet."

2. There's Republican vampires in Florida? From CBS News: 

"Not satisfied with living in Florida, Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey wants to move to Washington, D.C., to become the nation's first vampire president, reports CBS affiliate WTSP.

Sharkey, 45, spent Friday on a Greyhound bus with his new fiancee, Audrianna Foster, a 19-year-old girl from Ohio he met online. She too believes she is a vampire, or vampyre.

"I haven't dated a girl older than 19 since 2006," said the Tampa man as his 19-year-old daughter and his 2-year-old grandson met him at the Greyhound station. "It's good to be me."

"The Impaler" claims he's a direct descendent of Vlad II the Impaler, better known as Dracula."

3. Ultrasounds can create the most interesting faces as show here. From The Chronicle: 

"...but when the scrotal ultrasound of a 45-year-old patient with severe testicular pain and a possible mass revealed the surprising image of a man in distress, urologists at Queen’s University, in Ontario, followed proper scholarly procedure: They submitted it to Urology, the official journal of the International Society of Urology.

“The residents and staff alike were amazed to see the outline of a man’s face staring up out of the image, his mouth agape as if the face seen on the ultrasound scan itself was also experiencing severe epididymo-orchitis,” wrote the authors, G. Gregory Roberts and Naji J. Touma, in an article that appeared in the journal’s September issue. “A brief debate ensued on whether the image could have been a sign from a deity (perhaps ‘Min,’ the Egyptian god of male virility); however, the consensus deemed it a mere coincidental occurrence rather than a divine proclamation.”

4. Some LOL WTFckery here. From SFGate:

"An unidentified 21-year-old man allegedly made a $100 bet with his friends that he could fit in a child’s swing at Blue Rock Springs Park, police said.

After lubing himself with liquid laundry detergent, he shimmied into the swing and its two leg holes at about 9 p.m. Friday, said Mark Libby, spokesman for the Vallejo Fire Department

He promptly became stuck, and further swelling and circulation issues made it impossible for him to get out on his own, said Vallejo police Sgt. Jeff Bassett.

And then his friends left him.

It wasn’t until a groundskeeper heard him screaming for help at about 6 a.m. the next morning — nine hours later — that authorities came to free him."

5. Bork bork brains! Zombie Swedish Chef muppet! Be afraid.

6. Why would anyone spray gold on their food? From The Consumerist:

"Food Finish, an edible colorizer that you spray on your food to make it look like it's covered in gold. It's basically spray-on food coloring with an extremely high luster. It's also available in silver, chrome blue, and magenta. No one will that you're swapping out sirloin on the dinner table with hanger steak, or serving up haddock instead of cod, they'll be too busy oohing and ahhing over how all the meat looks like it was prepared by Midas himself. It's the perfect recessionary gastronomical pick-me-up!"

7. The next trend in shorts wear: Crochet shorts. I can only imagine how nice and toasty warm someone would be wearing this shorts in the muddle of summer. (Thanks to Geeky Book Blogger)

8. Pizza sized Whopper anyone? From The Consumerist:

"Dubbed the "Pizza-Size Burger," the BK Japan take is slightly smaller (8.8") and doesn't got for the tomato sauce and melted cheese trappings of the NYC version. Instead, it's four overlapping Whopper patties on a bun that can be, at least theoretically, easily divided for group-style noshing. The Pizza-Size Burger may sound & look familiar to those who tried the Pizza Burger, a 9.5 inch wide belt-buster sold exclusively at the BK Whopper Bar in New York City's Times Square in the autumn of 2010. Now it's back, but only in Japan and only for a limited time: from December 8th through 25th inclusive. Both versions of the Pizza-Size Burger are priced at 1,680 yen or about $21.50 each."

9. Beware of the shape shifting donkeys that force men to have sex with them. From Gawker: (Thanks to Wicked Pixie)

"A MAN caught having sex with a donkey stunned a court on Monday by claiming that the animal was in fact a hooker he pulled from a nightclub.

Sunday Moyo, 28, from Mandava township in Zvishavane, was charged with bestiality on Monday.

Zvishavane magistrate Mildred Matuvi heard how Moyo was found by police officers on routine patrol performing a sex act on the animal inside his yard just after 4AM last Sunday. The donkey, which had been tied by the neck to a tree, was lying on the ground. Although he was not formally asked to enter a plea, Moyo admitted committing the crime but told the magistrate an enthralling tale which had the court in stitches.

“Your worship, I only came to know that I was being intimate with a donkey when I got arrested,” he began.

“I had hired a prostitute and paid US$20 for the service at Down Town night club and I don’t know how she then became a donkey.”

10. I would have fainted if this happened to me.  While surfing, please beware of killer whales! Something straight of of JAWS.

11. No Regretsy WTFckery this week. But this should make up for it...
The Breaking Dawn Part 1 movie is upon (releases November 18th) us and the sparkly trifecta is busy getting the word out about the movie. Robert Pattinson has a great interview about filming Breaking Dawn. One part of the interview that smacks of WTFckery is where Rob talks about his experience filming where he talks about Bella's labor scene and his part in it. (If you've read Breaking Dawn, you know how much of a WTF scene that was.)

Pattinson thinks Bella’s birth scene is up there with Un Chien Andalou.

“It was terrifying going into it, but it ended up being one of the most incredible scenes to do in this movie,” he said. “ There’s definitely a kind of R-rated — or maybe NC-17-rated — version of a few scenes in this movie. Because of the violence and stuff in it, it gave you a lot of freedom in the scene and having every character so desperate, it became something very, very different, especially for Edward, who has always held back and is a pacifist and objective and logical about everything. When you’re playing Edward, who’s stuck between an emaciated dummy’s legs churned through a placenta, getting cream cheese all over your face and strawberry jam, and pulling out a 3-week-old baby afterward, with a wig on, it was like something out of a Bunuel movie.”

I hope you have enjoyed this week's latest and greatest in WTFckery!



Blodeuedd said...

Ok that first wtf!?

And the donkey story, really...really? How stupid does he think the court is?

Janicu said...

Yikes on #9 (the donkey story). What a dumb lie!