Movie Review: Conan the Barbarian and My Lusting Respect for Jason Momoa

My movie viewing this summer has been full of fail. I knew this summer was going to be filled with ho-hum the movies, especially with the final chapter of the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 being released. That was a major viewing event, and no movie this summer could compete.

My summer movie experience started with The Green Lantern, mainly because of my ultimate lust for Ryan Reynolds, who starred in the lead role. That movie was beyond bad. Then I went to see Cowboys and Aliens, which was also horrible, although Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford have great chemistry and I’d like to see them in another movie together, perhaps a modern day thriller of sorts.

I decided to go see another movie this past weekend because of a specific actor starring in the movie (you’d think I would learn from The Green Lantern, but no, it seems I’m a glutton for punishment).

I went to see the reboot of Conan the Barbarian because of this man:

Jason Momoa has made quite a name for himself this year. One of the big reasons is because of his part as Khal Drago in HBO's immensely popular series Game of Thrones.

I never heard of Jason until I started watching Game of Thrones. Jason isn’t new on the Hollywood scene. He’s been acting since the late 1990’s and I was surprised to see he was in the original Baywatch for two years and had five years on Stargate: Atlantis. But it was his role on as Drago that has catapulted him into the spotlight where he’s no longer best known as the father of Lisa Bonet’s two children.

Jason Momoa has taken on a very beloved cult classic role, which was owned by Arnold Schwarzenegger. Everyone bows down to Arnold because of him being the original Conan. But I can assure you after watching the new Conan, Jason gives Arnold a run for his money.

The new Conan the Barbarian would have been DOA if not for Jason Momoa. Jason is the reason to see this movie. People automatically assume many women would go see Conan because of Jason’s handsome looks and amazing physique. That’s part of it, but even with his pretty package, Jason is a good actor who I can see becoming a major player in Hollywood over the next few years.

Jason’s screen time was very limited in Game of Thrones. I think he only had a total of 30 minutes of screen time over the course of eleven, one hour episodes. He didn’t have many lines, but he made up for it by his large than life nature. That really says something about an actor when they make such an impression, especially if they don’t have many lines or are barely on screen for an extended period of time. Jason was intense as Khal Drago. His stare (which I like to call the laser sex stare of lust) and facial expressions held viewers entranced. He curls his lips oh so sexily and the ways his eyes blazed in lust and in anger really had me watching his every move.

Jason took the Drago role and ran with it. He has done the same with Conan.

Conan the Barbarian is a mindless, fluffy movie. It’s extremely violent (the blood spilled looked like runny cherry jello or paintball paint) and has so many cheesy lines that I couldn’t help role my eyes over. It’s a revenge movie, where Conan’s goal is to take down the evil villain who killed his beloved barbarian father. It takes him twenty years to find the man responsible and get payback against him and his psychotic and deranged daughter (played by Rose McGowen who was also pretty good. You can tell she had great fun and it really worked for her). Other actors didn’t fare so well such as Rachel Nichols, an actress I’ve never heard of, who played Conan’s love interest. She mainly stood around pouting most of the time. But the lucky woman got some naked action with Jason at one point. (There’s a quick shot of Jason’s naked butt that had the women in the theater sighing. His ass is a piece of art.)

Jason is a master of using facial expressions to get his point across. He is so skilled at brooding, showing anger and even humor. The camera had many close ups of his face, which I think was a smart move by the director. And when Jason spoke his lines, he delivered them so well. And ladies, Jason’s chest, or rather his moobs, as myself and a few others fondly call them (hot man boobs = moobs), was on full display for the entire movie. Also the man has nice arms, lcikable scruff and wears guyliner oh so well. (Richard Armitage is the only other man who can wear guyliner and not look ridiculous).

Behold the master of guyliner!

Conan the Barbarian is a total popcorn movie and one I enjoyed all because of Jason. After seeing Jason in both Game of Thrones and Conan the Barbarian, he’s not some pretty boy who will make it in Hollywood based on his looks alone. This man can really act. I think Jason could be suited for any role that comes his way. I can see him as a romantic lead in a comedy or perhaps a villain in a thriller, or as another action hero. The only problem he may have is being type casted. I hope that doesn’t happen.

If not for Jason in Conan the Barbarian, this movie would be a worse flop than it already is (it hasn’t any waves in its opening weekend at the box office). But regardless, I can see more buzz surrounding Jason where he’ll surely be offered more movie roles in the future.

Side Note: It was recently announced that Karen Marie Moning’s Darkfever series was bought by DreamWorks and might be made into a movie. We all know how much I despise the character of Jericho Barrons (I fondly have nicknamed him, Le Douche), but I think Jason would be perfect in the role. Unfortunately he would have to cut off his long, locks that suit his face so well.

Conan the Barbarian gets a C grade, but Jason Momoa deserves a B+ for making my viewing experience enjoyable and having a new found respect for him.

 The man look hot even in glasses

In closing, I must give two ladies a big shot out for introducing Jason as my new lust (pushes aside Ryan Reynolds). Thanks to my moob obsessed Mandi at Smexybooks and Sophie at Fiction Vixen.