I think I've outdone myself this week with today's WTFckery...
1. Team WTFckery has done me proud! Have I got some awesome WTF covers thanks to Wicked Little Pixie and Spaz Pam.
The curse of the constipated big headed sword wielding men
Massive man boobs versus flat as a board freakishly pointed chin elf with frizzy hair
The titles are self explanatory:
"Explicit, hardcore, and sure to leave you begging for more, this one is not for the faint of heart, and may cause you to explode all over. Get the tissue ready!"
Who knew a thong could be so droopy?
"While attending a college party looking for some late night fun, Kelly gets more than she bargained for when not one, but five guys, service her every hole."
2. As I read Mira Grant's Deadline, I find myself wishing I had a zombie proof house because the zombie apocalypse will come happen at one point in the future. From All That Is Interesting:
“The Safe House,” designed by KWK Prome
“The most essential item for our clients was acquiring the feeling of maximum security,” begins the designers’ website in the summary of the structure.The house, with its movable walls, has only one entrance, which is located on the second floor after crossing a drawbridge."
I wonder how many "guests" this house can hold? I better put my name on the waiting list now before the undead rising of 2012 happens.
3. I think I may have a new llama fetish thanks to Fiction Vixen. She'll get a real kick out of this and hopefully you will too. From IO9:
Llama poop was the secret to the success of the Inca civilization
"The most powerful civilization in South America before the arrival of Europeans was the mighty Inca empire, which ruled much of the continent's Pacific coast from their home in the Peru highlands. And it's all thanks to copious llama crap.The archaeological record also reveals a sudden upswing in the number of manure-eating oribatid mites, which in turn implies that there were tons more big animals pooping in the highlands. That means llamas were creating tons of natural fertilizer, and that was the real engine of the crop's success in the highlands."
4. This has to be the most disgusting piece of jewelry ever created. Say hello to the pimple ring. Thanks to Chris from Stumbling Over Chaos for making my stomach churn for the rest of the day.
5. Because we all want to have multi-colored poop at one point in our lives. From Ego TV Online:
I find this blue velvet cake beyond gross. Can we say crushed up Smurfs?
"Eating a bunch of blue velvet cake will turn your poop BRIGHT BLUE. Most foods contain dyes that make them look appetizing, and some of those dyes don’t get broken down by your body’s natural digestive process. The bright blue dye that’s used in Blue Velvet cake (and the red that’s used in Red Velvet cake) doesn’t get absorbed by your intestines, so it passes through just like it came in: bright blue."
6. Can someone explain me to me how they would get a good night's sleep on a roller coaster bed?
7. Got to love the Rule 34 in fan fiction. If you played with Barbies of G.I. Joes, this shouldn't be so shocking when it comes to LEGOS:
8. We should feel sorry for this woman whose house flooded when her husband "accidentally" shot up her washing machine. Right? From Gizmodo:
"Officials are investigating a weekend incident during which a man indicated his wife fired an AR-15 rifle at a target inside a master bedroom closet, missing the target and blasting holes in a washing machine.
When deputies on Sunday entered the home in the 5700 block of Spanish River Road, they found "a lot of water on the floor covering most of the residence," according to recently released St. Lucie County Sheriff's Office records.
The 21-year-old woman said she and her husband are divorcing. She said her 33-year-old spouse called on Saturday, asking whether they could "get together.
As deputies watched the husband, he said, "About the arguing, she just grabbed the gun from the safe and started shooting and punching holes in the walls. The house then flooded so I went inside to clean it up."
9. A dog on riding a scooter is WTF, but awesome at the same time.
10. And your WTFckery Regretsy isn't highlighted there, but should be because it so full of awesome WTFckery. Warning you, this is a bit shocking so you may want to avert your eyes.
We've heard about women bedazzling their magic hoo has, so it makes sense that men may want to bedazzle their warrior of love. From Unicornbooty:
Pejazzle me with your Michael Jackson glove on my love tool! Bringing back the days of Studio 54 with this disco ball... erm... well you know what I mean.
"Vajazzle.me, the good folks who made applying rhinestones to your vagina a worldwide sensation, are proud to announce something for the fellas. Pejazzling is logically Vajazzling for men.
How about the Pejazzle Cross Gold & Black Design? (The £6-£9 stickers come in barbed wire and geometric shapes, but an iron cross and red lips design have proved the most popular.)
The Vajazzle kit contains 1 Crystal Tattoo, 1 alcohol prep pad (to clean the area before application).
Pervy author, Jess Haines gets a shot out for sending me this one.
I hope you have enjoyed this week's foul, disgusting and in all things, WTFckery.