We interrupt this week's WTFckery for another WTFckery altogether! In honor of the release of JR Ward's Lover Unleashed on Tuesday, I have another BDB skit for all you, much like I did last year when Lover Mine came out. Click here to view that skit. You've already seen Smexybooks and Fiction Vixen's LOL BDB skits from a few days ago. Now it's my turn!
Last time we left Caldwell, Qhuinn was in a bad place because his one time best friend and the man he lusts for, but won't bond with Blaylock, has found fun times in the silk sheets with Saxton, Qhuinn's classy slut of a cousin.
Blaylock, my Abercrombie & Fitch soul mate. *chug* I miss my redhead boo!
POOF!
Qhuinn: Waaa Blay... WTF are you? *coughs* Mo fo gack. You doused me in glitter. Now I'm all sparkly and shit. You look like some deranged My Little Pony with a swizzle phallic stick on your forehead.
Unicorn From The Future: Neigh! I'm the unicorn from the future. Listen, my momma peep the SV is sick of your emo crap and needs you and Blay to get together because if you don't some heavy shit will verily go down.
Qhuinn: True dat? Wait...shouldn't you be a ghost from the future?
Unicorn From The Future: Sorry, bro there's already one too many ghosts in this world. Unicorns are the next big thing!
Pac Man Jane Ghost: *Poofs* Did someone call?
Unicorn From The Future: *stabs Pac Man Jane Ghost and she disappears* Stupid Jane ghost who wants to fix everything. Any hoo, we must check in on Blaylock and Saxton before I show you what the future will be like if you two don't get together.
*Unicorn from the future drags Qhuinn to spy on Blaylock and Saxton together*
Mho Saxton: Lover, that's the wrong line. It's- "Do I...please you?"
Blaylock: Oh yeah! So, do I please you? I should since I've allowed you to tie my up with your cravat no other man has been allowed to touch.
Mho Saxton: Oh yes. I want you for however long I have you. And seriously, you really need to stop thinking and start feeling as I pleasure you under my lovely new satin coffee sheets I bought from Starbucks.
Blaylock: I'm glad you're here. *groan*
After Qhuinn breaks down in tears from the deep, sexual connection Blaylock has found with Saxton, the Unicorn From The Future whisks him to the alternate future...
Unicorn: Because you and Blay weren't together, you weren't able to stop Rhage from sitting on another dove and killing it. The Scribe Virgin grew so verily angry and banished him to full dragon form. Since the Brothers could handle him, they fired him. The only job he could get is working as the new Puff the Magic Dragon. Now him and Mary are living it up in the land of Hona Lee:
Mary: Rhagekins I'm bored! A strange little boy called Jackie Paper keeps calling me Momma and from all the hot dragon sex we're having, I can't stop laying eggs and giving birth to dragon babies!
Mini Rhage Dragon Jr's: Roar Momma roar!
Rhage: Roar roar... sigh roar.
Mary: I need a drink.
Unicorn: And because you and Blay weren't together, you couldn't stop Rehv, who couldn't get over his disturbing smutty relationship with his half sister. He dumped Elhena and fell in love with a shift-changing snake since his icky half-sister looked like a snake. He also decided to open his own winery to bring in major cha-ching to support his Sympath community. Rehv is now a drunk who can't stop drinking the Brotherhood Booze:
Rehv: Hic!
Unicorn: Because you and Blay weren't together, you couldn't stop Marissa from getting hit by a bus!
Crime Scene Photo: Marissa run over by bus
Butch: I'm so happy, V!
V: True dat cop of my heart.
Butch: And I'm so stoked our side business is doing so well. Who would have thought that Lesser ash fog remains can be bottled up and sold as cologne and perfume?
Butch: For a man who wants to small baby powder fresh, buy True Dat. And for the ladies who want to smell as baby power fresh as their mates, buy Verily.
Butch: V, I think we need to talk about your spoon fetish.
V: Dude, that night you went all dom on me changed me forever! The way you used that spoon on me... rowl. This spoon is a product of our love and I want to adopt it and call it Mhartin. He also looks a bit like Jane, don't you think?
Butch: Can't call the spoon Mhartin. The letter "H" is so last year. How about Xmartin?
V: True dat. Come here and snuggle with me naked man chest to naked man chest with our sphoon Xmartin.
Unicorn: And finally because you and Blaylock never got together, Lassiter bumped off Wrath and took over the mansion and all of Caldwell!
Qhuinn: This is horrible! Other than the Brotherhood Booze, this alternate BDB future is wack!
Unicorn: That's why you must claim Blaylock as your mate! If you don't the entire BDB world is ruined!
Qhuinn: *Nods* Okay unicorn that looks like a rainbow threw up on it, here I go...
Will Qhuinn rush in and take Blaylock away from Saxton to save the future of the BDB world? Perhaps he'll join Blaylock and Saxton in the satin coffee Starbuck sheets. Stay tuned for another WTFckery BDB skit installment to find out...
Leave a comment here by Friday April 1st for your chance to win a $20 Amazon gift certificate that you can used to buy your own copy of Lover Unleashed.
37 comments:
Nooooo! Do not save the future! I love that Butch and V are together ;)
Mho Saxton. BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
this was fantastic.
Verily, I want some nasty Brotherhood booze.
ROFL!! This xawesome!! *crieslaughing*
The unicorn from the future - I DIE. Loves this hard
"Can't call the spoon Mhartin. The letter "H" is so last year. How about Xmartin?"
ROLFMAOBBQ!
GOOD stuff! Thanks for the laughs.
I don't know if I'm more skeered that I'm laughing so hard I could pee a little or that your skit actually made sense to me! I'm a recovering BDB addict, but the urges never die do they? One day at a time. lol :)
Good post! TY for the entertainment!
Words just aren't sufficient. Laughter, though, seems to work just fine. Thanks.
Fantastically wacked, and so much fun, I loved it!
LOVE IT! I've enjoyed all of the skits so much! LOL!
Hilarious! I look forward to these almost as much as the actual book! :)
Thanks for the entertainment!
LMAO.Thanks for cheering up my Sunday.
Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!
That is all.
Lesser ash perfume to smell baby fresh? Lol too funny!
Where's my mhagic uhnicorn? Where's my mhagic shpoon? Huh?
Verily and True Dat.
I laughed my ass off when I saw that. Nothing makes my skin crawl right off my body like the word "Verily"
Rock on.
Who cares about the books? The yearly skits are what's important! I hope JR keeps on writing the books just to see what you ladies are going to come up with next time.
These skits are great. Thanks for sharing them!
Those dragons are verily cute :-)
P.S. Am disturbed by the human-and-sheep sex scene!
This is the first time I've seen these skits, they are hysterical and have to check for the other ones you've done.
Just one thing I'd like to point out though. I see people say this all the time but Vishous has never said true dat. When Vishous says "true" at the end of a sentence, it's not short for true dat. It's a slang term used to address somebody which means true friend. But of course some people use it often and address many people that way rather than reserving it for just true friends. If you notice, he only uses it at the end of a sentence and it's never to express "true dat" Just a name he calls people. For ex "you just going to watch, true?"
I know people probably don't care about V's use of "true" lol but forgot to mention above that it's also used in a lot of rap songs(well old school rap) to describe someone who speaks the truth and yeah basically is true.
Ok I think I'm done with my ghetto fabulous lesson of the day lol.
We all know that Mho has to make a cameo in these skits. And can only play Saxton because of his hot blood red cravat.
Denise: You're telling me Ward didn't make up the whole true or true dat lingo? lol
I haven't read the books but I would like to. I love unicorns though. Please enter me in contest. Tore923@aol.com
Another great skit I can't wait to see what you all come up with next.
sstrode@scrtc.com
Loved it! you've made my day! Heck, you've made my week! :D
Mho Saxton...very clever! LOLOL
"Verily" good job. ;-) (LOL, I hate that word, btw, and I haven't even read the book yet.) Anyway, that was great; it was like "A Christmas Carol"! And the boy better take Blay from Saxton 'cause it's about frickin' time. =)
Email for contest:
bluebubbles24(at)hotmail(dot)com
This was awesome! Last year's skit was my introduction to the BDB and I'm completely hooked now.
Btw, I love that the the Brotherhood booze is cream sherry. Too funny!
Hahahahahahaha!!!!!
I am verily amused.
That was an awesome little show-HEEEEEEEEHEEEEEEEEHEEEEEEEEHEEEE
audie@wickerness.com
I love this! Thanks for sharing :)
I think your skit was probably better than the book. ;)
Rhagekins...
oh I love you!
vslavetopassionv(at)aol(dot)com
You have just a little too much time on your hands, perhaps? (fantastic though!)
Rofl. OMG !! Can't stop laughing and now my sister looking at me weirdly. Probably thinking I have gone crazy. XP
Thanks for the laughter. You just make a very good impression on my birthday.
To quote Mary, I need a drink! And Qhuinn - pull yourself together!
KB - you're my hero :)
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