Sunday, January 9, 2011

WTF Or Not? You Decide

Welcome to the LOL that is WTFckery!

1. Some WTFckery book covers...

Possible menage with a lollipop? Gives off a Lolita type vibe, doesn't it?

Screams- ho-hum man-titty, but hey, I kinda look like Richard Gere!

Actually, the title cracks me up. Baby Bling? Too bad the baby isn't wrapped in a diamond encrusted blanket.

Synopsis: Shipping tycoon Jackson Champion hadn't become a Texas billionaire by crumbling under pressure. So when his sexy assistant, Ysabel Sanchez, decided to walk away from him and his mega successful corporation, he wasn't taking no for an answer. After all, memories of their recent one night stand had consumed him, and now Ysabel's inability to meet his eye made him wonder what she wasn't telling him. But exploring their feelings had to wait. An unknown enemy intended to bring down Champion Shipping, and Jackson was an expert at protecting what was his. But could he also lay claim to Ysabel and the secrets she had yet to reveal?

2. This lamp is off the hook! Not only can it give you hours of light, but hours of pleasure as well. Don't blame me if your guests start humping your lamp. From Gizmodo:

"Called "Love the Bird," this lamp places a vibrator right under unsuspecting visitors' noses—though you might have to request they don't touch it themselves. Flick the bird, and it turns the lamp on and off."

3. This makes me gag. A man doesn't use soap or shampoo for 18 months and thinks it great. Blerg. From Gizmodo:

A Most Successful Self-Experiement: Over 18 Months Soap and Shampoo Free

Here are some observations from dirty man:

- I haven't used soap or shampoo anyplace on my body for six months, save hand washing in advance of food prep.
- My skin and hair have never been softer. Never.
- If anything, my hair is less "greasy" than ever, yet shampoo hasn't touched it in over six months.
- Private parts. Have to address this, of course. This is the biggest benefit of all. Surprised? You'll just have to try it, because I'm not going to elaborate. That's why they call them "private parts." OK, a clue: maybe it's the constant cleansing that's the cause of the sweaty-stinky problem in the first place? If for nothing else, I'm soap free for life on this point alone. I feel as though I've been scammed -- and liberated. I can't explain further. You'll just have to try.
- You'll save a lot of money, especially you chicks. Girks: you can Google about no shampoo. Lotsa links.

4. We all need calendars, so why not get your own Zombie Pinup for $3.99. (Thanks to Jess Haines)

Miss Zombie January

"This 12 month calendar is stuffed with more dead sexy girls than you can fit in a shallow grave. We dug up the idea of the vintage 1950’s pin-up and hit it over the head with a shovel. Let yourself get infected by these bloody gore-geous women who are just dying to get under your skin."

5. For those who are lazy enough to not hold their own sandwich. From The

6. The artwork is beautiful, but seriously, a grown woman spending $4k on a back tattoo of Twilight, as well as plans to tattoo her front with the Cullens? From I09:

"After saving £2,000, and spending 22 hours in the tattoo chair, this is what Ward walked out of the tattoo parlor with. One epic Twilight tatt. And Ward is currently saving another £2,000 so she can get her torso covered with Cullens."

7. Poor flat Kermit. From Cakewrecks:

8. Yes, poop can be cute. From author Stephani Hecht:

9. Would you allow The Hoff to have his way with... your oscillating fan? This commercial for Norton gives me a good chuckle.

And the second part to the commercial where The Hoff talks sexy...

10. And your Regretsy WTFckery is good enough to eat. I was seriously craving chocolate cake after seeing this postcard.

And I really have to wonder, how this cute kitty sat still in order to have this underwear crime fighting mask placed around it's face and take the picture without going wild? But then again Photoshop is a wonderful thing.

Enjoy this week's WTFckery!



Blodeuedd said...

Mmmm cake!

And wtf, I am not getting the lamp

Tracy said...

Whoa, that tattoo screams: WTFckery! I mean, it's actually a very beautiful tattoo, but it's her ENTIRE back!! (And apparently soon to be front) In my opinion, that's just nuts. I understand when people get tattoos of book quotes (that's kind of cool, even though I'll never get one), but an entire portrait that covers half your body, sheesh. Well, to each their own.

ps. That one cover DOES look like Richard Gere!

KB/KT Grant said...

Blodeuedd: You know you're ordering that lamp.

Tracy: I dream of one day getting a Twilight tattoo on my ass. The left cheek has Edward's face, the right will have Jacob. As for Bella... well that will remain a secret.

Eyre said...

LMAO! That is one ugly lamp, and while I am a Twilight fan, I can't imagine having anything related to the book tattooed on my body!

To add to your WTFckery, did you see the Minnesota man who tried to give his ex an exploding vibrator?

Tam said...

I'll stick with soap thanks. Ugh.

My friend has an ongoing superhero serial with Rainbow Poo.

I love that sandwich holder, for authors who can write more by skipping lunch breaks.

D.L. said...

Um, really... 4k for a Twilight tattoo? WTF?

While I could never go without soap/shampoo, I'm glad someone did and posted about it. It makes imagining sex in historical romance easier since we know they weren't regularly soaping up either.

Simcha said...

I always look forward to your WTF feature.

Wow, I didn't realize David Hasselhoff has gotten so old looking. And that makes me feel old...
That Blessing in Disguise cover looks like the girls has a lollipop stuck to her face. Not very sexy.

Tracy said...

"Tracy: I dream of one day getting a Twilight tattoo on my ass. The left cheek has Edward's face, the right will have Jacob. As for Bella... well that will remain a secret."

LMAO!!!! I'm surprised the lady didn't do that instead! She should have consulted you first!

Chris said...

*shakes head at tattoo*

heidenkind said...

I never thought about the LOLcat being photoshopped, but you're probably right. It does look a little fake.

The Book Vixen said...

That totally looks like Richard Gere!!

If there's a baby on the cover, I ain't reading it. Romance novels and babies mix together well like oil and water for me. It's just not going to happen.

I saw a different picture of the lady with the Twilight tatts and there was some crack showing. Why spend that much on a tattoo YOU're never going to see? What is she going to do. walk around topless for the world to see it? No thanks.

Great WTFery post!

Julie said...

The Hands Free Sandwich Holder... LOLOL

Fiction Vixen said...

OMG I pity the poo!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Lily of Darkness said...

Seriously - that tat? UGH - I would not want Kristen Steward and Rob Patterson on my back for the rest of my life. That is revolting.

As for no soap dude - to each their own, but if my Shug puts in to go "natural" I will not be held accountable for my actions.

orannia said...

That lamp is....

And when I see that tattoo I don't think $4K I think OW!