Three DNF Historical Romances Reviews

Sometimes it just happens, but some books are DNF’s (Do Not Finish). This DNF post is about three historical romances that didn’t work. Two are from more established authors, while one is a debut.

First is Provocative in Pearls by Madeline Hunter. The blurb on the cover of this book from Publishers Weekly states that “Hunter’s books are so addicting they should come with a surgeon general warning.” This blurb is the farthest from the truth in regards to Provocative in Pearls. I gave this read until page two-hundred and had to put it down because it was incredibly slow moving and boring, in the sense there was no real action to further along the plot. What we have here is Grayson, the Earl of Hawkeswell who has barely a penny to rub together. He thought his money problems would be a thing of the past when he married Verity Thompson two years ago. Their marriage was arranged by her nasty social climbing cousin Bertram, who blackmailed her into marriage. To escape this farce of a marriage, Verity pretended to drown in the Thames, where she has been hiding out at a house run by a woman who helps underprivileged and other women in need, much like Verity. Now that Verity is twenty-one, she can come out of hiding, annul her marriage and claim her fortune. Verity will even make sure Grayson is paid for his woes.

Grayson feels he was played a fool and for some reason, doesn’t want their marriage to end. Since he’s her husband and “owns” Verity, he wants them to give their marriage a chance. He will ease her into the pleasures of the marriage bed and all he expects in the beginning are three kiss a day from Verity. Soon these two are sharing more than just three kisses a day, where they become husband and wife in truth. Verity loves the pleasure she receives from Grayson, but doesn’t want to be married because she enjoys her independence and isn’t too keen on the overall high handedness Grayson uses when it comes to her. Verity will continue to try and run away and hide from Grayson until he loses interest. But Verity is in for a surprise because after he has tasted her wonderful kisses, he will never let her go.

Provocative in Pearls is a pretty ho hum read that if I were to have continued reading, it would have been for the sex scenes, Madeline Hunter excels at that, but otherwise this romance didn’t have enough substance to move the story along. And, I almost lost it when Grayson remembers giving up all his orgies and debaucheries he used to enjoy as a young man of nineteen, and certainly engage in with his wife. And Verity has no shame in asking about his past and all these fun time orgies he went to. Perhaps if these two went to a few then maybe this would have been a more interesting read.

After this mention about Grayson’s past sex fun, that was where I closed Provocative in Pearls and didn’t care either way if Grayson and Verity’s all-consuming passion led to them working on their marriage. (Jove)

Renee Bernard’s Revenge Wears Rubies has the blurb- “This luscious tale will enthrall you” from author Sabrina Jeffries. This tale of revenge didn’t enthrall me in any form, even though it did have great promise.

Galen Hawke wants revenge against a woman who was so cruel and cold, who dared to become engaged to another man so quickly after the death of her beloved killed in Bengal, India. Galen and eight other English gentlemen from all walks of life, known as The Jaded, suffered horribly at the hands of a raja. But only seven came back alive. The man who died went on and on about the lovely Miss Haley Moreland before his death. Galen will make this witch pay for not spending enough time in mourning. He’ll seduce her, thus leaving her ruined. And then his revenge will be complete!

But Galen doesn’t know the real story about Haley and why she’s engaged to a bore of a man who will give her stability, but not the passion and love she longs for. That’s where Galen comes in. Even though Galen rubs Haley the wrong way, she finds herself attracted to him and throws all caution to the wind. This caution, that is bound to get her in trouble, is having Galen sticking his hand up under her ball gown. Because Haley feels an inferno of “white-hot coil inside her that unravels in an ecstatic explosion”, she ends up sneaking out late one night and goes to Galen’s house unaccompanied and asks him to finish what he started when he tickled her under her petticoat. Not only does Haley not really like Galen, but as a proper virginal miss, engaged to be married, has no problem losing her innocence to Galen because he is so skilled at love making. This reason makes perfect sense for Haley since she has to deal with her drunk of a father and is so fed up where she finally wants to “be ruled by passion and risk ruin.”

Haley’s actions didn’t ring true to me at all and Galen is this poor, woes is me hero who really has no pleasing personality or any thing else to recommend. He sneaks around from scene to scene, lurking in the shadows, trying to catch Haley so he can have his wicked way with her and destroy her just because she dared not mourn the allotted year for a man who loved her, but who she may have had no clue about. Revenge is not worn well in this lacking historical romance from Renee Bernard. (Berkley, March 2nd)

A few other Revenge Wears Rubies reviews:
Book Binge
Fresh Fiction
Night Owl Reviews

My final review is from debut author, Erica Ridley who tries to bring back the atmospheric gothic romance with Too Wicked To Kiss. The blurb on this books states, “A skillful blend of Gothic mystery and steamy romance” from Karen Rose. This is a mystery with a romance, but not so steamy and skilled as I was expecting. My main issue that caused me not to finish this book is that Erica laid it on a bit too think with the whole atmosphere of what a gothic romance is. There’s a castle that makes a perfect dark setting, a hero in seclusion who may or may have no killed his parents, and a heroine on the run from her degenerate step-father who abused her no deceased mother. The hapless heroine also has a secret power at her fingertips that would have probably gotten her burned at the stake as a witch if this was set in Salem, 1692.

Evangeline Pemberton is forced to go to a house party by a truly wretched woman and her annoying twit of a daughter. Mommy Wretch wants Annoying Daughter to snag the alleged parent killer, Gavin Lioncroft. The stage is set much like out of the movie Clue where  many outlandish characters come out of the woodwork. Not only does Gavin brood and snarl, but his Countess sister, who is married to a faithless abuser, who actually smacks her so hard, that she has a very noticeable mark on her cheek. Everyone remarks about this abuse as if it is an everyday occurrence. At a dinner party, where the one-dimensional suspects are on display, there is an unneeded extended scene about this horrible display of spousal abuse that really doesn’t set the mood or add tension to the overall story. It just shows how a barely restrained Gavin is close to beating his brother-in-law into pulp. Gavin does eventually get his revenge by strangling his brother-in-law, but not killing him. This seemed odd to me since Gavin has such disdain and disgust for his sister and her family.

But then Gavin’s sister’s fink of a husband is found murdered in his bed and because of the bruising around his throat from Gavin's hands, the guests all assume Gavin must have killed him. From that moment on there is lurking around dark halls, Gavin cornering Evangeline where he tries to kiss her even though she is a sacred rabbit around him. And because she is so scared of him, he takes his anger out on her and acts like a wounded bear. Poor Evangeline, who I really wanted a much better written story for, is doomed from her evil step father who’s on his way to take her back, the staff who crosses their fingers whenever they walk by her because they know all about her special powers and the Lady Wretch and her Annoying Daughter who walk around making snide comments.

I’m not sure if Erica meant to poke fun at the Gothics of the past with her own story, but the characters’ actions and plot failed to excite and had me rolling my eyes as I turned each page. Unfortunately because of this, I didn’t care to know who the killer was and if Gavin would carry Evangeline of the magic hands away to his tower to protect her as well as ravish her in all his angsty, brooding glory. (Zebra, March 2nd)

A few other Too Wicked To Kiss reviews:
Enduring Romance
Gossamer Obsessions
The Book Girl