Love Advice From Love Doctor Mho Fho *Kidnapped By Sex Starved Alien*

Welcome to the latest Saturday Edition of Love Letters to Mho! The Love Doctor is in!

Dear Mho,

I just had the most horrible few days imaginable. Not only did I lose my job, but I’ve been kidnapped by a sex fiend with better hair than I do, who has come from another universe and thinks I’m the answer to saving his world. At first I thought this was all types of awesome, because I’m a science fiction geek and this is my chance to meet a real life alien!

I was so wrong! Now my sexy kidnapper has claimed me as his mate, calls me zira, which he won’t tell me what it means, and looks like he was to eat me for breakfast, lunch, dinner, desert and two healthy snacks in between the day. I can barely walk because all the sex we have is mind blowing, I’m talking out of this world, mushy, lusty throbbing wet… well you get the point. A girl like me can’t take all this loving, especially when he starts to sparkle and I see all these lights and the way he thrusts… ahem.

I just want to get home to Earth and be boring and plain with horrible red hair that my interstellar lover just can’t get enough of.

Any advice in this matter would be greatly appreciated.

Yours,

D.J.

PS: Would you know any woman willing to take on a sex crazed man who can change into a cat called a Familiar?





Dear D.J.,

Lately I'm getting fed up of women like you who come from Loserville and can’t handle a great adventure on another realm, with men who would get down on their knees and worship the ground you walk on. Seriously, why are you complaining? I know of these men you speak of, especially your sexy kidnapper, who I’ve heard is a great warrior knight type dude.

As long as he doesn't look like this:

And looks like this:

You have no reason to complain and even write me an advice love letter!

Forget your old boring life on Earth and stick with your man hunk with the skilled manhood who gives your former unskilled virgin-esc hoo haa the time of its life. I promise you your future will be a much better one now. Those days of attended all those geeky sci-fi conventions you probably went to are over.

As for the nickname, better not ask. Also Familiars are cuddly, seductive and bound to get into a heap of trouble. I have no doubt the Familiar you speak of will find another woman to molest… love, in ways that puts your intergalactic sex god to shame.

Quit whining and get down on your own knees and thank whatever sent this man into your life.

Yours,
Mho Fho

Need a hint on who is asking for advice? Click Here