Word up homies! King Mho Fho here. I've been given a big exclusive interview with one of the main characters from Laura Kinsale's new awesome historical romance, Lesson in French. Why interview Laura, when I can go deep and interview Hubert the Bull? For those who haven't read Lessons in French, and you really should, Hubert is just as important as the two main characters of Callie and Trev, those crazy kids that go through a great deal before they can be together.
I met up with Laura, who introduced me to Hubert, who was grazing away in his field. I asked the hard hitting questions most readers want to know such as what's it like living in the 1820's and have no running water and whether or not Trev is a virgin. Inquiring minds need to know that tidbit of information! KB really wants to know that specifically about Trev...
Mho: *sits down on tree stump* Hey Hubert, thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule. I know grazing and making bull patties in the fields is hard work. Congrats on being in your first historical romance! How does it feel to be a character in a book?
Hubert: Thank you. I work hard at eating. Many hours nose to the grass, and during rest times I'm always chewing my cud to aid my digestion.
And Mho (can I call you Mho?) I just want to say I'm really flattered to be interviewed. I've had a lot of people and cows mooing over me, but nobody ever asked me a question. A real question.
It's sort of like Fabio, everyone thinks because I'm a hunk, I have nothing to say.
So I'll try to answer your question the best I can.
I eat books.
Mho: I’ve heard some interesting rumors between your former owner, Lady Callista Taillefaire (wow that’s a mouthful of a last name) and her neighbor’s son, Trevelyan d’ Augustin. What’d the deal with these two? And what’s the deal with this Major Sturgeon guy who’s trying to get under Callie’s petticoat?
Hubert: Callie brings me bread and mash, and scratches me exactly where I like it. I would do anything for her. (Careful where you are standing, King Mho, when I lift my tail.)
Trev feeds me hay and Bath buns. He's an excellent fellow.
Sturgeon never fed me anything. That should tell you something, eh?
I hope I'm not boring you. It's the cows who shine when it comes to wit. (You've seen those clever ladies from California.)
Mho: By the way, what’s a petticoat?
Mho: Why does this French dude Trev keep lurking around Callie? Could it be that Trev wants to show Callie the wonders of French love?
Hubert: I wouldn't call it lurking. He's waiting for the proper season, I'm sure.
Mho: Speaking of Trev the French stallion, there’s some confusion about him and his skills in the bedroom. On behalf of the public who are dying to know, and since you have the inside scoop, has Trev, well… been with other women or really did wait for Callie to lose his heart and manhood to?
Hubert: I've never been in a bedroom. I've been in a kitchen. Wonderful place! The smells! The potato peelings!
Mho: I’ve hear Laura Kinsale is a pretty cool chick. My gal pal KB loves her books like you wouldn’t believe. Can you give us the inside scoop of any possible future books Laura may write?
Hubert: After we moved here to this pasture by the river, I saw Trev fishing with another gentleman a few times.
Mho: Have you ever read any of Laura’s books? Can you read? If you can, which is your favorite Kinsale romance?
Hubert: I do like to have books read to me. Human voices are very soothing. They have a nice drone--like flies, but without the downside.
Mho: Since I’m an awesome and much loved demon sheep, and I know Laura always writes about cute animal critters in her books, do you think she’d ever write about a cuddly demon sheep named… Mho?
Hubert: I think the village goats had to bribe her, and they only got a mention.
You are very awesome, though. Her dog Ventoux is a livestock guardian without a sheep to guard. He has a hedgehog, a blue rabbit and a yellow duckie with 25 (count 'em) squeakers.
He says he'd be proud to add a cuddly demon sheep to his herd. He provides the finest protective services and carries his herd around wherever he goes. They have a comfortable pile on his bed. He doesn't even sleep there himself--that's a noble dog for you.
He's very gentle and never makes a mark on them. You'd be safe from delivery men, visiting children and coyotes.
He also has no fleas.
Mho: Is there a special lady bull, or is it cow in your life? Did you do anything special for Valentine’s Day with the cow of your heart?
Hubert: *blinks slowly* They're all cattle of my heart. I'm responsible for quite a large herd, you know. And also I go out on visits to neighboring farms to do my duty. No one is neglected, I assure you. Particularly on Valentine's Day.
Mho: What’s 1820 England like? Must be pretty smelly with no running water, indoor bathrooms and people not bathing. How do you keep fresh and clean. And why do you think so many historical romance authors like to write about his time period so much?
Hubert: Oh no, there's a lovely running river through my pasture. I stand in it often. And Callie gives me a lot of baths. See this pouf on the end of my tail? Have you got one of those?
Mho: If you could be reincarnated as a hot sexy man dude, what time period would you come during and what type of guy would you be? Would you make sure you’re well endowed like you are now *takes a peak under Hubert’s tail*
Hubert: I'm sure I'd do best in my own time, where a name like "Hubert" is fully appreciated.
*with one gentle swish of Hubert's tail, Mho sails a few yards and lands on a soft tuft of grass*
King Mho, I warned you to stay clear!
Mho: *rubs wooly butt and goes off to the pub for happy hour* Hm, was there a happy hour in 1820's England?
Don't forget to purchase Lessons in French, available everywhere!
She is, after all, Lady Callista Taillefaire, jilted three times in spite of her fortune and her father’s best efforts to find her a husband. Now her greatest desire is to win the silver cup at the agricultural fair with her gigantic prize bull, Hubert. But when Callie’s only old flame returns from his long and mysterious absence in France, her quiet spinster life turns upside down. Dark-eyed, elegant and a magnet for trouble, Trevelyan d’Augustin has given Callie lessons in more than his language in the past. Her father put a harsh and humiliating end to any dreams of romance with a French émigré scoundrel, however, and Callie never thought to see him again. Swallowing his pride, Trev has finally come home to care for his failing mother, but his secrets and misdeeds follow him. Callie soon remembers that nothing is ever peaceful with Trev around. The enormous Hubert vanishes into thin air, one of her former jilts comes back to woo her in a most determined manner—and her bull takes the town by storm! In the midst of these misadventures, Callie finds herself falling in love again with the worst possible man for her…