Queen of the Darkness and Final Thoughts on the Black Jewels Trilogy

Queen of the Darkness, the third and final book in Anne Bishop’s Black Jewels Trilogy is comparable to that of the movie, Return of the Jedi. I can’t help but compare this series to the original Star Wars Trilogy. With Queen of the Darkness you know it will be an explosive accumulation of everything that happened in the past two books.

Queen of the Darkness is where Jaenelle has come into her own and is now a very powerful queen in her own right. With all this responsibility placed on her shoulders, which she never really wanted, has many important decisions to make. So many creatures, people and animals alike rely on her for guidance. Janelle’s family and close friends know what she is capable of, and it is quiet a scary thing. If Janelle’s hand is forced, she will send such destruction across the land. I liken Jaenelle to a ticking time bomb. Her great Witch power that is deep inside of her is building at such a fast rate because of the evil skanky whore queen, Dorothea, the High Priestess of Hayll and Hekatah the self-proclaimed skank Dark Priestess of Hell. These two women are the most villainous characters I have ever read in literature. They come in a close second to Iago, my all time favorite villain from William Shakespeare’s Othello. They are manipulative, disgusting, greedy and have no morals. They don’t love; just hate and enjoy making those around them suffer. They are the complete opposite of every that Jaenelle is. And they think Janelle is a pitiful scarred woman who will be defeated so they can rule over the realms.

Because we, the readers, know what Janelle is capable of and these two perverted evil skanks don’t, when Janelle decides enough is enough with them, the showdown is going to be something of epic proportions. Buckle yourselves in your seats because this is going to be one bumpy ride!

It seems the realms have become filled with the stench of evil, much like the cities of Sodom and Gomorra that were told in the Old Testament of the bible. Evil is oozing out of every corner. The Blood has been corrupted and the only way to make things right is a mass cleansing. This is where the prophesy comes into play, where Witch will save everything that is good and right and destroy everything that is not. She is dreams made flesh; the savior. And Janelle is this savior.

A war is brewing. Anne takes very intricate steps with Queen of the Darkness and uses her amazing storytelling skills to make the tension grow. We don’t know when or how, but something bad is going to happen. Think of those horror movies where you watch the unfortunate soon to be victim of the serial killer wander around unaware that she will be killed brutally. The audience calls out trying to save the poor woman, but it is no use, because the deranged killer is behind her with a knife ready to plunge it into her flesh. That is the feeling I had while reading Queen of the Darkness. Every page made me very aware that the ending to this epic series will not end all happy and carefree. There will be collateral damage and the one responsible for it all is Jaenelle, who over the course of these three books is a character you can’t help but grown such an emotional attachment to.

Even though this may sound like a doom and gloom novel, there are some bright points. Lucivar Yaslana, who is Janelle’s biggest supporter and protector, has found peace in his own life. After thousands of years of horrendous torture both in body and spirit, Lucivar is now married and has a son. His joy came through every single scene he was in because after all his suffering, he has found his own slice of heaven. Saetan, Lucivar’s father and High Lord of Hell, is a loving father and grandfather not only Jaenelle, his adopted daughter, but those who are her servants and followers. He is there to give Jaenelle guidance and help her lead.

Then there is Daemon Sadi, son to Saeten and half-brother to Lucivar. When Heir to the Shadows ended, Daemon was lost in the Twisted Kingdom, insane from grief because he believed he stole Jaenelle’s innocence by raping her. Jaenelle went back into the Twisted Kingdom to save Daemon, and now five years later, Daemon has risen out of the Kingdom and is on a search. He is lost and still a bit broken because he feels he doesn’t deserve Jaenelle who he has been waiting for his whole life. Lucivar is there the help him him. Daemon is able to find Jaenelle again. That will begin the next step in their fragile relationship. When Daemon first met Jaenelle, she was barely a teenager, now she is a grown woman with incredible power. She loves Daemon deeply. Daemon’s feelings for Jaenelle can not be named because what he feels for her is so deep and imbedded into his soul. He welcomes everything that Jaenelle is from healer, to queen to Witch.

The love between Daemon and Jaenelle is a subtle passion. When they finally come together after so many years apart, I wanted to be overcome with their love. Anne only gives her readers a peek-a-boo look at what Daemon and Jaenelle experience in each other’s arms. And for those who don’t know, Daemon may be skilled at bringing women pleasure because of his phantom power, but has never had actual sex with a woman. He is a virgin and his first time will be with Jaenelle. If only Anne had gone into further detail with the actual physical love between these two.

But their happiness does not last for long. Dorothea has finally pushed Janelle too far and now Jaenelle must give into the power of Witch. That means she will gather all her strength and power and unleash it across the land. Jaenelle is an atomic bomb waiting to explode and no one can talk her out of it, not even Daemon. Daemon decides to help Jaenelle and will channel his own power, the power of the Sadist. He grapples with this side of himself and he may not survive either, because when Saeten is captured by Dorothea, Daemon must do some appalling things.

The last one-hundred pages of Queen of the Darkness are fast paced and mind blowing. This is a meticulous planned step by step process that Anne has written to end her Black Jewels Trilogy. It has been a very long time since such a book made my heart pound. I cringed and gasped as my heart broke for what Daemon had to do and the final outcome with Jaenelle. The way Anne leaves things will have you aching in pain alongside these two and those they love. What I can promise you is that Dorothea and Hekatah get their comeuppance.

But, with the destruction and death to those who turn away from the light, there is a hope of a better tomorrow. Things are not what they seem. Anne gives her readers a special gift in the book, Dreams Made Flesh, which holds four short stories. One being is Kaeleer’s Heart. This story begins a short time after Queen of the Darkness ends and about the aftermath that Jaenelle has unleashed. Anne writes a tender story about Daemon and Jaenelle that I was hoping for in Queen of Darkness. Both these two characters seem so broken. Again, things are not what they seem and Anne delivers the romance and love that Daemon and Jaenelle have for one another so perfectly.

My journey with Anne Bishop and her Black Jewels Trilogy was an incredible escape into a world that floored me. These three books have so much yearning and emotion in every scene that Anne has written. If I were you, I would not let this series pass you by like it did with me for so long.

Final Grade: A-

**I am so excited to say that Anne has written another book in her Black Jewels series called The Shadow Queen. This will be released on March 3.

Synopsis:
Dena Nehele is a land decimated by its past. Once it was ruled by corrupt Queens who were wiped out when the land was cleansed of tainted Blood. Now, only one hundred Warlord Princes stand—without a leader and without hope.Theran Grayhaven is the last of his line, desperate to find the key that reveals a treasure great enough to restore Dena Nehele. But first he needs to find a Queen who remembers the Blood’s code of honor and lives by the Old Ways. The woman chosen to rule Dena Nehele, Lady Cassidy, is not beautiful and believes she is not strong. But she may be the only one able to convince bitter men to serve once again.

A review will be posted by a special reviewer who is the main reason I decided to pick up the Black Jewels books in the first place. Hopefully Anne has delivers another stellar novel with The Shadow Queen.**

Gag Me With the Remakes!

Last year when I heard Hollywood was possibly remaking the 1980's movie classic Footloose, I was pretty okay with it. Then I heard other remakes were in the works such as the horror classics like Friday the 13th (which was released this month), Last House on the Left and Nightmare on Elm Street.

But this past week I heard about two remakes that really got my goat! (have no clue what that phrase really means, but I think it sounds cool).

First movie that should not be remade in any form:

Universal is moving several spaces up the board with "Clue," a big-screen take on the classic game, and is in final negotiations with "Pirates of the Caribbean" helmer Gore Verbinski to direct and produce.

How dare they touch Clue! This is one of my all time favorite movies! Wendy the Super Librarian also feels my disgust over this. Isn't it bad enough that they are also thinking of making movies out of other gameboards such as Candyland and Monopoly?

Clue channels my inner geekiness with so many one-liners and quotes that I have memerized and can say when the mood strikes. This is one of my four favorite movies that have the best laugh out loud hilarious lines. The other three are:

Monthy Python and the Holy Grail

Airplane

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

Can you imagine these movies being remade? Then yesterday I heard more unfortunate movie news:
.
Warner Bros and the Kennedy/Marshall Co. are in talks to make another rendition of The Never Ending Story. The studio recently acquired the rights to the franchise, so there's a good chance of a remake coming soon. The new flick would put a modern twist on the classic tale.

Is nothing left sacred? What would Ateryu and Falkor think? And whatever happened to Barett Oliver who played Bastian?

Next Hollywood will try to remake this classic:

And probably this one also:

Just like some songs that shouldn't be touched, the same should go for movies.

Tempest Rising and Killer Kewpie Dolls

By now you may have seen this cover making the rounds on the blogs:


This is the cover of Nicole Peeler's Tempest Rising, the first book in her new Urban Fantasy series that doesn't hit the shelves till November from Orbit Books.

Synopsis:

Jane True is a twenty-something secret night swimmer and unintentional social pariah. Living in small town Rockabill, Maine, Jane has always known she didn’t quite fit in with so-called normal society. She just didn’t know that her absent mother’s legacy would give her entry into a world that included vampires, goblins and succubae.

The cover really stands out. I have to give credit to the publisher and illustrator because many don't know what to make of it. What a great way to start buzz for a new author!

For some reasons I have visions of Kewpie Dolls in my head. And it really freaks me out!



"We're coming for you KAAATTIEEE!!!"

Dolls really scare the crap out of me especially those antique looking ones.

Anyone rememeber the 1987 horror movie Dolls? The movie scared the ever loving shit out of me.

Let's watch the trailer!

What do you think of the cover? Is it eye-catching or does it make you go OMG and WTF? And do certain dolls give you the willies?

Desire Unchained Review *Larissa Ione*

Desire Unchained is the second book in Larissa Ione’s Demonica series. Larissa arrived with quite a bang with her first book, Pleasure Unbound last year. What makes Larissa’s books so different from the other paranormal reads is that her storytelling is fierce. I may be using that word quite a lot in this review. Larissa Ione is fierce!

This is a dark, gritty, sexual world and heroes who are such bad, bad boys. Larissa’s heroes are walking a very fine line where one wrong step would put them into villain territory. They make no excuses for the way they do things. These are men who won’t apologize. You take them as they are.

Pleasure Unbound first introduced us to the three demon brothers who work at the mystical Underworld General Hospital. Desire Unchained is Shade’s tale. Shade is a Seminus demon who has the ultimate in “fuck me pheromones”. Shade has incubus like traits where he can sense a woman’s need, no matter how dark and hidden she keeps them. Shade loves sex; he reviles in it. And because of his uncontrollable desires, he hurt the one human woman he began to care for. Runa Wagner was a simple coffee girl he began to have feelings for. He found Runa to be a bit clingy, but there was something special about her. Perhaps she made a fine cup of coffee? But since things between them couldn’t be more than just sex, he made sure she found him not only with one woman, but two in his bed. A true rat bastard, right? Shade is cursed. If he falls in love, he will literally fade away. So instead he uses women for pleasure without having any emotional attachment with them. Shade is the perfect booty call.

Runa fled in tears and then was attacked by a werewolf. She is changed into one and feels like a monster. Desire Unchained begins where Shade and Runa have been captured by the Ghouls. The Ghouls have been harvesting demon organs and parts. And the reason Shade and Runa have been captured is because of Roag, Shade’s brother who is in charge of the organ harvesting. He wants revenge against Shade and of Wraith, their demon-vampire brother. Roag was caught in a fire at a club and was believe to be dead. It has been three years since his alleged death and he is now a burned out husk. Shade assumed the fire was an accident. Actually Roag was set up to be killed by someone very close to them both. If Roag can torture Shade mercilessly, Wrath and Eidolon will come to his aid because they can feel each other’s pain.

Runa is stuck in the same cell as Shade and despises him because she feels he is responsible for her unfortunate circumstances. She also feels so naïve and stupid because she cared for Shade. He used her cruelly and now she wants him to suffer. And when Shade suffers brutally by Roag’s hands, she changes her mind. Her tenderness and love for him comes out. Shade does like Runa, but because of his curse, he can’t care for her. Well, Roag has something else up his sleeve. He knows of Shade’s curse and forces Shade’s hand so to speak. He drugs both Shade and Runa, and as they are sleeping, they have sex with each other thinking it is a dream. Shade bonds with Runa and is now screwed in so many ways, both literally and figuratively.

Shade has no choice but to break them out of the dungeon. After a most excellent action sequence, he hides Runa away in his jungle lair where he has quite the nice cave set up with furniture, a kitchen and a special S&M room with sex toys. Runa is so scared and uneasy (not just from the S&M products) because Shade may be very protective towards, but he acts as if she is to blame for all the problems that have rained down upon his head. Now he has to put up with a woman he has bonded to unwillingly and help her with her the small problem of becoming furry three times a month. Also these two can’t keep their hands off of each other. Shade thought his sexual needs were bad before. They are nothing compared to his lust that only Runa can cure. Shade is also a wreck because he is afraid his curse has been activated. The only way to stop it is by killing Runa. But every time he thinks of any harm against Runa, he rages. He is also concerned because Runa doesn’t have the bonding marks on her body that usually accompanies bonded mates. That means she could leave him where he would go insane.

Shade has to figure out a way to kill Roag, keep his sexual urges at bay, which is nearly impossible, and keep Runa safe. Even with Eidolon and Wrath as backup, Shade really has no clue how to fix things because he is falling for Runa who is willing to give into his dark side. Runa wants to embrace everything Shade is, even if it means crossing over the threshold into that room where Shade has used his special toys on countless women before Runa.

Larissa is one hell of a storyteller. Her world building is so intense and every single character who makes an appearance is very important to the story. In the first fifty pages alone, the action was so in your face and ferocious that I needed to put down the book and take a few breaths. Larissa’s world is definitely not a happy go lucky place. It is disturbing and wicked. Larissa is not afraid to let the blood flow freely here.

Shade and Runa are an interesting pair, just as Eidolon and Tayla were. If only Eidolon and Tayla could have had more screen time together in this book. I found myself missing them. Larissa can take two total opposites and make it work between them. I didn’t really care for Shade during the first part of the story because he comes across as a cocky S.O.B. who feels he is entitled to whatever he wants. Perhaps it is my own dark nature, but I did get a thrill seeing him in the dungeon. That experience humbled him. I had no qualms with Runa in the least. She acts as I would expect, especially if I found the man I was falling in love with, getting down and dirty with two women. But Runa is a kind soul who can’t stay angry for too long. She cares about those who don’t really deserve it, such as Shade. Even when Shade was a bit prickly with her because of his fear of vanishing into thin air, Runa was there to keep him calm. She sacrifices herself and basically gives Shade free range over her body because it is what he needs to overcome his demons. One such scene that may make you squirm is when Runa wants Shade to make her submit to him. Runa is also hiding from herself because of something that happened in her past.

Everything comes down to Shade and Runa beating the odds. At one point I wasn’t so sure they would succeed. But Larissa makes sure these two get their HEA. Isn’t it great knowing that after all the horror, love can set you free? And not only do we see it between these lovers, but the relationship Shade, Eidolon and Wrath have is one of the best sibling relationships I have read in recent memory. These demon brothers remind me so much of J.R. Ward’s vampire brothers in arms. No man will be left behind is the motto of Larissa and Ward. Larissa shows that men can be in loving relationships with other men because of the bond they have as friends, and in this case because of blood. If Shade had lost, both Eidolon and Wrath would have followed him into the afterlife.

Desire Unchained is not a book for everyone because the subject matter again is very dark, violent and sexual. Reading a Larissa Ione novel is like a rollercoaster where your stomach drops one minute, then the next you are screaming because you are having so much fun. (Grand Central)

Final Grade: B+

Nothing Says Romance Like...

I was over at Kensington's website to take a gander at some of their future releases. These covers caught my eye because nothing says romance like...

I think the title says it all:

Hittin' It by Amie Stuart- In stores now.

As a professional hit man, Will Collier has more secrets than most. But on a sweltering Texas night, the lives he’s taken rank second place to the love he’d like to be making with a sensual Bohemian beauty.
Sabrina Walker is intimately familiar with the havoc Cupid can wreak. She’s determined that love will never seduce her again, until she meets Will Collier and discovers that some secrets are better when shared….

John Collier is a hit man who takes his work seriously. Some would say too seriously. He’s hell-bent on revenge until he gets sidetracked by an Irish-American mob princess with killer curves and a glib tongue….
Tish Page isn’t afraid to use a little good, old-fashioned blackmail to get what she wants. She’ll do anything to protect her family. And more importantly, she’ll do anything to keep John Collier in her bed and by her side….

A man who has rock hard abs you can bounce a quarter off of.

Seducing the Viscount by Deborah Raleigh- Coming in March.

Illegitimacy is no obstacle for Ian Breckford. Darkly handsome and thoroughly charming, he has bedded his way through London’s most exclusive society. Yet this pleasurable existence has lately seemed a trifle dull—a fact soon remedied by a visit to his father’s estate, where his aunt has acquired a delightful new companion. Mercy Simpson may be shy, but she is also sharp-witted and stubborn, especially when persuading Ian to relieve her of her innocence...

Some major man titty and a big sword:

Knight's Captive by Lindsay Townsend- Coming in April.

In the year 1066, England struggles against Norman invaders, and two strangers cross paths on a pilgrimage fraught with peril—only to discover a love worth any danger...

A man with a tattoo and his pet Jaguar:

On The Prowl by Crystal Jordan- Coming in May.

Meet the Cruz brothers. They look human--except for the golden sheen their eyes take when they’re aroused beyond control...and the way their claws come out when it’s time to play rough. They’re Panthers, ancient shapeshifters, and their survival depends on mating to bring out their wild sides...

What type of covers scream "romance" to you?

Kmont Reviews Gena Showalter's Catch A Mate

From the desk of Kmont from Lurve A La Mode...

.

Gena Showalter

Catch a Mate

Harlequin

ISBN-10: 0373772351

ISBN-13: 978-0373772353

Contemporary romance

June 2007
.

Kate asked me a few weeks ago if I’d review this book for her, and as she’s such a sweetheart and I’ve always wanted to read it, I said yes. She was great and sent me her ARC copy and I was pretty psyched to get it in the mail and onto the reading.

Jillian Greene loves her job, even if it means getting caught at cheating with lots of men. After all, it’s her job and it happens to be one she loves. She works as “bait” for an agency called Catch a Mate that does exactly what it sounds like – catching men in the act of cheating on their wives. It only serves to show her that no man can be trusted and the feeling doesn’t abate when sexy Marcus Brody walks into the office for a private word with her boss.

Marcus has just been hired to be male bait for catching wives in the act of cheating on their husbands. Something about Jillian sets his senses aflame, and not always in a good way. Still, if they’re to be partners, they’re going to have to iron out some of the kinks before they can really get down to serious business. When neither can stop thinking naughty thoughts about the other, it’s the ultimate Catch a Mate game, but this time, more than their jobs are at stake.

Right off the bat, I knew this was going to be a light, somewhat amusing read. It was funny in places; yet things about the book kept rising up to throw me out of the story. The dialogue is pretty immature between Jillian and Brody and I found myself wondering on more than one occasion why two adults were talking to each other the way they were. It was often just pure silliness and far from realistic. The way they continually drive each other mad, on purpose no less (which is actually pretty realistic between loving couples), made for some amusing scenarios, but again, the dialogue gets in the way. I actually found them to be a more believable couple when, and you may be shocked, they finally become intimate. I was rather astonished that this was so, but at that point I needed something to anchor me into this story because their high school-esque drama up till that point was driving me insane. So, day-to-day interactions were a huge X in my book with this one, but the intimate scenes got a thumbs up for more emotionally mature actions on Jillian’s and Brody’s parts, and I don’t mean the actual sex act itself. They just finally seemed to act like adults, appreciating each other in an adult manner instead of through spoiled children-like rants.

Jillian herself has a huge dilemma with men, and it stems from a childhood disaster between her mother and father, from which Jillian emerged terribly emotionally scarred and on a path to disillusionment where men were concerned. I really felt for her; what she went through no child should have to endure. As a result, her relationship with both mother and father is strained and it’s as if she’s still riding this turbulent pocket of air between the pair of them. Vulnerable is a word that came to mind more than once when pondering Jillian’s state of mind in regards to any personal relationships.

As a result, Marcus often came across as really harsh to me in terms of his treatment of Jillian, and I couldn’t help it despite the fact that he’s not privy to her dilemma till much later in the book. Because he’s so attracted to her, yet doesn’t want to be, he often acts like an overgrown caveman ass that I wanted to club over the head and toss over a cliff. He has his own dark past that’s carved him into the jaded man he is today, but like Jillian’s hang-ups, it only goes so far before I was tearing my hair out in frustration at their unrelenting immaturity.

There’s a scene in the book when Marcus has made an upsetting announcement to the company. Jillian needs a break and so at lunch, she agrees to meet some of the other office girls across the street for lunch. Of course, Marcus finds out and tags along with all the new male “bait” he’s brought over from another similar agency. He proceeds, much to my astonishment, to force them to sit boy-girl, boy-girl, so that each male/female pair can get to know their new work partners. Why partners? Because suddenly the men are afraid the little women will get hurt out on a job at a loud bar or club, trying to bait married men into taking that last step to cheating. On one hand, it’s a smart move – but forcing them to sit boy-girl at lunch for gosh sakes? I couldn’t contain all the times my eyes rolled to the side, the back, completely southward into hell for that matter; the scene, amongst others, was beyond ridiculous.

On the other hand, Marcus and Jillian both had some really poignant and nice moments – when they dropped their high school drama in favor of adult discussions and interactions. I felt like we could’ve gotten a lot more and better character development had they not spent so long insisting on such dramatic behavior. As a result, I pretty much felt like this was a light, fluffy read and not much else. The main issue of infidelity was one that both struggled with and it was a relief when both begin to shed past hurts to see that maybe the opposite sex isn’t automatically bad.

Secondary characters of note were Jillian’s brother, Brent, and her best friend since childhood, Georgia. Brent has the hots for Georgia and is constantly calling his sister for updates on Georgia, since Georgia won’t give him the time of day. After the teenager theatrics of Jillian and Marcus, Brent and Georgia’s side story was a very welcome respite. It was sweet and something to relate to; the ugly duckling turned gorgeous swan, yet Georgia was too insecure to give Brent a real chance. That is, not until he dared her. Their relationship eventually took on a quietly sweet note.

I’ve wondered a lot in the last year or so if Showalter’s particular kind of romance simply isn’t for me. I’d anticipated enjoying this one a lot more since I liked Animal Instincts for the most part. Her paranormals are a no for me though and after Catch a Mate I’m starting to think that the Showalter funny bone just isn’t from the same animal as me. Catch a Mate was an OK read, but not enough to inspire me to search out more such contemporaries from Showalter. I was too disappointed in the dramatic overindulgence given to the hero and heroine, to the point that enjoyable moments were outweighed. If they had snapped out of said indulgence a lot sooner, I would probably be giving it a better grade. Since it takes up most of the book though, Catch a Mate earns from me a big ‘ole D.

I do want to thank Kate again though for sharing the book and offering up a review spot on her too kewl space here. Now I just need to think of a book to get her to read for my blog. *rubs hands in glee*

.

-Kmont
.

KB:

It seems Kmont and I have a very different opinion with Catch A Mate. When I reviewed Catch A Mate for All About Romance, I gave the book an A and Desert Island Keeper Status.

Has anyone else read Catch a Mate? Who do you side with?

KB's Post Oscar Ceremony Thoughts

The 2009 Academy Awards ceremony clocked in at 3.5 hours. There was some snooze fest of a red carpet show before at 8pm (I come to the realization that Tim Gunn was either high or bored. His voice annoys me) before the ceremony so things didn’t launch till 8:30pm and did not end till midnight. The producers of the show really tried to liven things up. Hugh Jackman was an adorable host and there were more singing and dance numbers than ever.

Here are the winners. I have highlighted in red the ones I was correct in predicting:

Actor in a Leading Role: Sean Penn (Milk)

Actor in a Supporting Role: Heath Ledger (The Dark Knight)

Actress in a Leading Role: Kate Winslet (The Reader)

Actress in a Supporting Role: Penelope Cruz (Vicky Christina Barcelona)

Best Directing: Danny Boyle (Slumdog Millionaire)

Writing (Adapted Screenplay): Slumdog Millionaire

Writing (Original Screenplay): Milk

Animated Feature: WALL*E

Best Picture: Slumdog Millionaire

Only 2 wrong! I was also twittering from 8pm on and posted a great deal of twits. I guess I was too vocal because at around 11pm, Twitter cut me off! Perhaps a bit too much snark on my part?

Other KB thoughts:

- Jessica Biel, Miley Cyrus and Sarah Jessica Parker need to retire those dresses and fast! So not. Amy Adams, Queen Latifah and Taraji Henson looked beautiful. Robert Downey Jr. looked dashing and Mickey Rourke… um, yeah.
- Tina Fey and Steve Martin were the highlight of the evening (besides Hugh Jackman). They brought out the most laughs and their jokes weren’t as lame as some during the evening. I vote for them hosting next year!
- I wanted to be Hugh Jackman’s big bow tie. He looked like he was having a blast and his smile made me swoon. Did not have enough air time!
- The number of times the camera panned to Brad and Angelina as Jennifer Aniston was up at the podium: TWO. If I was Jennifer I would have made out in front of those two with John Mayer. As always Brad and Angie looked fantastic.
- Zac Efron really needs to lay off the hair gel
- Robert Pattinson still needed his eyebrows shaved. Should talk to Zac’s stylist.
- The times the camera panned to the audience, they look very bored and probably were anxious for the after parties to begin
- As the night progressed, I kept wondering when the dead people montage would happen. I knew then that the ceremony would almost be over.

I give the Oscar producers an A for effort but overall a C. There was just too many long-winded speeches and some lag time.

Did you watch the ceremonies? What were your highlights? What annoyed you?
.

One more important thing to add: After the ceremony ended, a 3 minute movie clip preview of some future releases coming out this year was aired. Check it out and see some soon to be released movies you may want to see in the coming months...

KB's Oscar Predictions!

Here are my predictions in the major categories for tonight's 2009 Oscar Awards:

Actor in a Leading Role: Sean Penn (Milk)
Actor in a Supporting Role: Heath Ledger (The Dark Knight)
Actress in a Leading Role: Kate Winslet (The Reader)
Actress in a Supporting Role: Amy Adams (Doubt)
Best Directing: Danny Boyle (Slumdog Millionaire)
Writing (Adapted Screenplay): The Reader
Writing (Original Screenplay): Milk
Animated Feature: WALL*E
Best Picture: Slumdog Millionaire

I still stand by my original statement that WALL*E should have been nominated for Best Picture. We'll see tomorrow how I did.

What are your picks for tonight? And will Hugh Jackman be the best Oscar host ever?

You Are So Undead To Me Review *Stacey Jay*

You Are So Undead To Me is the first book in Stacey Jay’s new YA series about fifteen year old Megan Berry who has to deal with zombies rising from their graves at the most inopportune moments. Stacey has written a funny paranormal that has a nice chick-lit feel for the teens. As an adult reader I really did enjoy the day in the life of a young girl who is a type of zombie therapist.

Megan Berry may seem to be your typical teenager who is worried about dating or making the pom squad. This fifteen year old has more pressing problems as a Settler of the dead. Megan has the power to help the recently troubled who have died. She records the issues zombies had while they lived and helps them find peace before they return to their final rest. Megan thought her powers were gone forever because she almost died five years ago from a zombie attack. Now zombies are coming out of their graves and looking for Megan. Some just want to be heard, while others, known as reanimated zombies, will attack and feed on humans much like the ones in the typical zombie movies. Megan can't believe her dumb luck, especially with Homecoming right around the corner and the chance to date the hottest boy in the senior class. Megan has to constantly watch over her shoulder for these decaying corpses. Also her nemesis and fellow Settler, Monica Parsons, is there to make her life even more miserable than it already is.

.
Because Megan is still trying to control her zombie powers that have come back with a vengeance, she has a babysitter watching her every move. Ethan is with the Settlers' Affairs, Protocol Division, and is responsible for making sure Megan doesn't screw up. Megan and Ethan used to be friends, until five years ago. Now the eighteen year old Ethan is back and looking much more hunky than before. Too bad he treats Megan like a kid.
.

The reason so many zombies have become violent is because someone is using black magic to help them rise from the grave for revenge. And it seems that Megan is one of the intended victims. Her list of suspects is too long and no one seems to believe her, even Ethan who keeps giving her mixed signals. One moment he treats her like an annoying younger sister, the next he is very protective and locking lips with her. Megan doesn't know who she can turn to..
.

Megan just wants to survive and live a normal teenage life. Unfortunately something bigger is in store for Megan. Making the pom squad is the least of her problems when she has too many zombies breathing down her neck. Plus she is trying to come to terms with her growing feelings for Ethan who may want to be with Monica.
.

Stacey Jay has come up with a very unique paranormal world where the teenagers are given great responsibility due to their birth, not by choice. Megan is one of these unfortunate individuals who is expected to sacrifice her own life to help the dead who won't rest. Her life is in constant danger and the secrets she must keep, even from very close friends, becomes too much to handle. Megan has a great deal of responsibility and reacts the way I would expect any fifteen year old girl would. Some readers may think Megan is a bit immature, but if you think about it, her immaturity is because of her age. And it does seem to fit.
.

Megan's voice and personality is great and Stacey really can tap into a teenager's mind. The narrative and action really flows. Even as there are points of great suspense, there are also some lighthearted moments. Stacey has an enemy of sorts in Monica who is the popular girl. Monica taunts Megan every chance she gets and also likes Ethan and thinks she is better suited for him than Megan. And when Monica becomes a bit too friendly with Ethan, Megan's thoughts of revenge will give you a good chuckle. Ethan is a very interesting character because we really don't know what his motivation is. Does he like Megan as only a friend and mentor or as a young man who has feelings for her? At one point Ethan does something that angers Megan and made me feel the same, but there is a reason and by the end everything makes sense.
.

I had no idea who the villain was and why they wanted to hurt Megan. That was a great twist on Stacey's part. You Are So Undead To Me is a nice read for teenagers and adults alike. It was great to see zombies get their due, other than the same old paranormal creatures in the past books I have read.
.

Stacey Jay is a much welcomed author who has written an invigorating story about a quirky teenage girl and her day to day issues with school and those things that go bump in the night. (Razorbill)
.

Final Grade: B+

The Mysterious Pego and Other Ponderings

I am in the middle of reading an erotica novel by Lacy Danes called Being Wicked. This is a February Trade Book from Aphrodisia Kensington that costs $13.95 not counting tax and it is only 214 pages. The remaining 50 pages or so are excerpts from future releases.

The norm for most books I read are 300 pages or more in length and the price of those book costs anywhere from $7.99 in paperback to upwards of around $14 for trade and $15-$29 for hardcover.

Now I ask you this, why would a customer be willing to spend $14 on a book that is less than 300 pages? I remember some had grumblings about A Wallflower Christmas by Lisa Kleypas that was published by St. Martin's Press back in October. That short novel was also around 215 pages and costs $16.95!

Shouldn't these shorter novels have a much lower asking price than even that of a full length paperback? If am paying almost $8 for a 300+ page paperback why would I pay the same price for a book that is barely 250 pages?

.

Shouldn't it be half that price?

.

On a side note, Being Wicked is giving me quite the education. The story takes place in 1828 England during a sex party where anything goes. The sex described tends to be a bit purple in its telling and some words used to describe certain body parts and the actual act makes me go, "huh?"

.

Examples:

-The hero calls his penis a pego. Anne Douglas explained to me on Twitter that the word "pego" has been around since the mid-19th century and was used in the 1879 naughty novel by Anonymous called The Pearl.

-Sex is called fluttering

-And another certain orifice is called a pucker.

.

Can anyone use pego, fluttering and pucker in the same sentence?

Some Ha-Ha's

Some fun to take you in the weekend...

.

My co-worker sent me this video of comedian Lisa Lampenelli who appeared on Jay Leno in January. I have never heard of her before watching this clip. I laughed so hard that I almost had tears coming down my face.

.

And under movie news of the wierd:
.

From Variety.com:

Aliens Vs. Jane Austen pic in the works!

Elton John's Rock at Pictures and Will Clark is set to direct "Pride and Predator," which veers from the traditional period costume drama when an alien crash lands and begins to butcher the mannered protags, who suddenly have more than marriage and inheritance to worry about.

"It felt like a fresh and funny way to blow apart the done-to-death Jane Austen genre by literally dropping this alien into the middle of a costume drama, where he stalks and slashes to horrific effect," Furnish said.

Do you think this movie will work or is it just way to wacky and strange to work?

Demon Forged Cover!

Because I am all about pimping the covers!

Say hello to Demon Forged
.

Synopsis:
Four centuries ago, Irena and Alejandro would have succumbed to the need smoldering between them — if a demon and a monstrous bargain hadn’t shattered the possibility of love. Torn apart by shame, Irena avoided Alejandro for centuries — until a vampire’s call for help throws her into his arms again.

Alejandro can control fire, but he’s never been able to control — or quench — the flames between him and Irena. And he knows Irena, hardened by her hatred for demonkind, will never accept that he now works at a demon’s behest. But even as he fights for a second chance, a shocking betrayal and a deadly prophecy shake the foundations of the Guardian universe, and all Hell threatens to break loose…

Meljean Brook just posted her cover for her next release in her Guardian series to be released in the fall. The (Berkley?) art department did a great job and it has a great Urban Fantasy feel to it.Everything is bigger in this one, from Meljean's name, to the title and those knives the cover model is holding. Dare we mention the rack on her also? And I am not talking about the rack where she places her knives.
.
A spectacular cover for a most excellent series by an amazing author.

Saturn Go Bye-Bye?

I own a 2002 Silver Saturn ION 3 and I love it to peices. It was the very first car I bought with my own money.

When buying my first car I had a goal in mind. In order to purchase a car, I needed to pay off my college loans first. I worked two jobs and scrimped and saved because as soon as I payed off my college education I would have my wheels. It took me four years and a lot of sacrifice on my part (staying home many Saturday nights), but I was able to save enough money.

My car was the first thing I owned with out any financial help from my parents and the first real grown up decision I made. Over this past summer I was finally able to pay off my car.

Then yesterday I hear this depressing bit of news:

From the Chicago Tribune:

GM said it expected to phase out Saturn in its viability plan submitted to the government on Tuesday, and later that day GM executives said all options were on the table.

With a franchise agreement that sets dealers up as an independent distribution network, it will be easier and cheaper to drop Saturn than the $1 billion it cost GM to kill Oldsmobile in 2004.

Saturn gets its engines, transmission and body stampings from GM, and is so intertwined with GM it couldn't be sold because no one would buy it. Either it gets spun off or it dies of old age like Plymouth did at Chrysler.

Hopefully Saturn will not die off because I think they are one of the best cars out on the road. I haven't had any big problems and the air conditoner still works! You know a car is a good product if the air conditioning can still deliver.

.

Any other Saturn owners our there? Or does anyone have any first care stories they want to share?

Vexing the Viscount Advanced Book Review *Emily Bryan*

Vexing the Viscount is a reunion romance where the heroine and the hero knew each once upon a time when they were children. The heroine annoyed the hero back then and when they meet again years later the hero is still perturbed by the fair miss. This is the third book I have read by Emily Bryan and her lighthearted historicals have been enjoyable reads. I found Vexing the Viscount to be another fun read but with some faults. Perhaps a bit silly and unbelievable at certain points, but overall this is for those who are in need of some light and fluffy reading.

Daisy Drake is a woman who enjoys reading ancient texts. She is what we would call a blue-stocking. Daisy made her first appearance as one of the young nieces of Gabriel Drake, the hero pirate in Pleasuring the Pirate. Daisy is very unique because she prefers to lose herself in libraries and search for lost treasure. Daisy would love to join the Society of Antiquaries, but because she is a woman and it is very much a group only for men, she is denied membership. That still doesn’t stop Daisy from visiting the Antiquaries building where she looks at priceless works of phallic art. Yup, Daisy has no problems inquiring about clay objects shaped like penises. While she is staring at a particular phallic looking clay lamp, she meets an old acquaintance, Lucian Beaumont, Viscount Rutland, otherwise known as Iggy to Daisy.

Lucian has no clue who Daisy is at first, and she is a bit miffed even though the last time they saw each other was when she was twelve years old. Daisy knows who Lucian is because Lucian’s father blames Daisy’s Uncle Gabriel for all his financial woes. Lucian has come to the Society to find someone to partner with him and help search for a great Roman treasure that equaled a year’s pay for the entire Roman Legion on the British Isle centuries ago. The Society gentlemen think Lucian is a joke and refuse to help him raise the money needed for the excavation. Lucian’s father is penniless due to a debale years ago, and because of that no one is willing to back Lucian.

Daisy is very interested in helping Lucian with his excavation. When she was a little girl, she discovered a pirate’s booty of Spanish gold beneath her home. That is where her love for treasure hunting started. She is more than willing to help Lucian find the treasure. Daisy has more than enough money because of her family fortune. But the moment Lucian finds out who Daisy is, he refuses.

It is fate that Daisy and Lucian will see each other again. Daisy’s great-aunt Isabella, who was once a famous courtesan, is throwing a masked ball and Daisy will go as Blanche la Tour, a French courtesan whose unpublished memoirs Daisy has found in Isabella’s library. With the help of Daisy’s maid Nanette and some cosmetics, a seductive dress and high heeled shoes, Daisy will be unrecognizable. Lucian attends the same ball and meets “Blanche”. He is enthralled. Lucian has no idea that Daisy is Blanche and Daisy doesn’t tell him because she enjoys the game and doesn’t want Lucian to run away from her. They talk and kiss. Both enjoy their kiss so much, because it is the first passionate kiss they have ever shared with anybody. Daisy and Lucian are both virgins. Lucian doesn’t have the money to court a wife or keep a mistress. He also doesn’t feel comfortable having sex just for the pleasure of it all. He wants the intimacy to mean something special. (Can I just say I adore Lucian at this point?)

Daisy finds Lucian “commendable” with his reasons for remaining a virgin. Lucian thinks Daisy as Blanche is quite skilled in lovemaking and because he is so attracted to her, he wants to become her pupil and teach him those lovemaking skills that have eluded him for so long. Daisy accepts Lucian’s offer. If she becomes Lucian’s teacher, he must allow her to join in on his treasure hunt. He agrees. Daisy is in a very hard place because she lacks these skills. But at least she has Blanche’s memoirs to help her if she needs it.

Lucian is in for a surprise because Blanche sends Daisy to be his partner. Lucian can’t refuse because then he wouldn’t see Blanche and learn about the ways of love. Daisy gets the best of both worlds and hopes Lucian won’t find out that she and Blanche are one in the same. Now this is where the whole situation gets a bit ridiculous. Blanche is staying as a guest of Isabella, and when she invites Lucian into her bedroom, she is dressed in her courtesan wear which includes a mask which she won’t allow Julian to remove. Lucian wants to see the woman behind the mask, but since she won’t, he decides having sex is better than seeing the woman’s face who will allow him to reach heaven. Both may not know what they are doing, but with enough practice they learn very well and enjoy each other to the fullest.

Daisy has put herself in a corner. She is falling for Lucian, but Lucian barely knows she is alive because he is heads over heels in lust with Blanche. He treats Daisy as kid sister. And when Lucian is not going on and on about Blanche, he has to worry about the excavation. Someone wants what Lucian is searching for and won’t rest till they get it, even if it means sabotaging Lucian and causing harm to those around him, which of course means Daisy.

I have to admit that the whole plot with Daisy pretending to be Blanche was a bit silly. Daisy acting as Blanche had great chemistry with Lucian, but I was surprised he allowed her to keep the mask on the whole time. If I were in Julian’s shoes, I would have put a halt to everything even if I was about to “become a man” in her arms. And Daisy is one of those heroines who seems to learn all her moves in the literature she reads. The first time between these two, who have no experience what so ever make love, it was a bit too perfect. At least the mystery of Blanche didn’t go on for too long. And when Daisy’s mask came off, things progressed very nicely between the lovers.

Vexing The Viscount has some cute moments and I did like how independent Daisy was. She didn’t run home in tears because something didn’t go her way. Her character was a bit too naïve at times but because she has a very unique personality, she wasn’t too annoying. I found her to be quiet endearing. Lucian also has a bit of an innocence to him and I couldn’t help thinking that these two were perfect for one another because of this. Their love scenes are very playful and passionate and shouldn’t disappoint readers.

The search for the treasure and the suspense dealing with Lucian’s enemy isn’t all that thrilling where you will be on the edge of your seat. I found it to be more filler if anything and the moments I enjoyed most of all were when Lucian and Daisy loved one another and willingly expressed it. Once they found how much fun sex was, they didn’t want to stop.

If you are in the mood for a fast lighthearted read, Vexing the Viscount is the book for you. (Dorchester, March)

Final Grade: B-

The Next Cult Movie in the Making? *Lesbian Vampire Killers*

I have the feeling that the UK movie Vampire Lesbian Killers may be a cult hit in the making.

Synopsis:
BAFTA winning comedy-duo James Corden and Matt Horne (Gavin & Stacey) decide to escape their problems and head to the countryside for a weekend of debauchery. Things don’t quite go to plan and they find themselves stuck in a village where all the women have been enslaved by a legendary vampire curse. As the night unfolds the boys have to put all of their fears (and dreams) behind them in order to rise to the challenge of becoming LESBIAN VAMPIRE KILLERS

Trailer:



I get a very big Shaun of the Dead vibe from watching the trailer.

What say you?

Lover Avenged Cover With A Face

Anna from Anna's Book Blog gave me the heads up about the new cover for Lover Avenged, J.R. Ward's first hardcover to be released on April 28th from Signet.

New Cover:

Old Cover:

.

Back in Decemember Kmont from Lurv A La Mode noticed that the first cover was used originally for a Rosemary Sutcliff book back in 2006.

.

When I heard the publisher was going to give Lover Avenged an all new cover, I was overjoyed. As you can see, they didn't change all that much. I am still a bit disppointed.

.

And you would think with this being J.R Ward's first hard cover, the cover for this book would be all new. And I want it to be purple!

.

Is that too much to ask? What say you?

.

Psst... there are also two new excerpts from Lover Avenged on Ward's website!

.

EXCERPT #1

.

EXCERPT #2 **HOT**

Gobsmacked Book Review *LB Gregg*

Gobsmacked is the first book in the Men of Smithfield series by new author, LB Gregg. This is a MM romance from Aspen Mountain Press that is gaining a great deal of buzz mainly because LB is a major presence among the blogs and as of tonight, Gobsmacked is now number seven on All Romance Ebooks Top 10 Best Sellers this week.

I know LB. I post on a her blog as much as I can, we sent emails back and forth to each other and chat on AIM. I also knew her before she was published. We hung out together at RWA this past July. I even made her a homemade sock puppet. The reason I am mentioning is this because some have opinions that if you are on friendly terms with an author, you cannot give an unbiased review. I say bullshit to that. Some of the reviews I have posted are by authors I am friendly with and admire. And still I read their work as a critic and as a professional regardless of my relationship with them.

In the case of Gosmacked, which is a title that makes me giggle and really caught my eye, I wasn’t sure what to expect. When I read the synopsis and even the excerpt I was a bit “meh” over it. And if I didn’t know who LB was I may have passed on it. But I will be honest, because I did know the author and wanted to lend the support, I purchased the book. I sat down, held my breath and hoped I would enjoy what I was reading. And I can say with a resounding yes, Gobsmacked is a very enjoyable story with a believable romance with great dialogue and hot sex. (even the rimming didn't make me blush)

LB hasn’t just written a tale of two men who are just hot for one another, hand over the lube and bend over, let’s get to the sex. Gobsmacked is where two friends take the next step into becoming lovers. Mark Meehan, the narrator is the more feminine of the two while Tony is the semi-alpha male who wants to protect Marc because Marc’s lover, Jamie has cheated on him and stolen Marc’s life’s savings. Mark now has to pick up the pieces after a man he trusted broke his heart.

The opening scene is too precious for words. Mark storms into a church during Ash Wednesday Mass and is out for Jamie’s blood because he caught Jamie screwing their married landlord in their bed. Mark takes a bible and whacks Jamie over the head, causing Jamie to hit his head on the pew. Mark curses in church and causes quite a ruckus. What a sacrilege! This is where I was cheering and laughing. What a great way to start a story.

Mark is a bit emotional, which is understandable because if I found my man screwing either a man or woman in our bed, a smack on the head with the holy book wouldn’t be good enough. I would be breaking out the kitchen knife and channeling my inner Lorena Bobbitt. Mark has felt betrayed and does what any person would do when the person they loved hurts them. Mark throws out all of Jamie’s belongings and gets piss drunk and laments over being so gullible. At least Mark doesn’t have to suffer alone because he has someone who cares about him and that is his former teenage crush and police officer, Tony Gervase. Tony calms Mark down and lends support even though he has been out of the picture lately because Mark was so involved with Jamie.

Over the next three days, Mark tries to figure out what is going on with his sleazy ex. Jamie has secrets and because Mark is a pretty nosey guy, he wants to know what is up. Tony is there to try and tell Mark to get over Jamie. Tony also wants Mark to see him for more than just a friend and begins to show him how much he does want him.

Gobsmacked is a fitting title for this book. Mark is gob smacked over Jamie’s betrayal and the way Tony has become his knight in shining armor. Tony even seems a bit gob smacked himself over Mark because Mark is a bit flighty and confuses the hell out of him. Also Mark won’t listen to Tony and gets into some trouble. But Tony takes Mark in hand and calms him down. The way Tony does this is with some passionate kissing and love play.

Much of the MM romance I read is so heavy on the sexual attraction the two male characters have for one another. Mark and Tony have this, but theirs is built up after many years. I loved that Mark and Tony have this history between them. They were friends and there are deep feelings between the two, so it makes sense that they wouldn’t hold back with one another.

Gobsmacked is told in the first person point of view from Mark. This was a pleasant surprise because I have never read a MM book in the first person. And because of that I did have a problem with Tony’s motivation. He says he has always cared for Mark, but I found his character a bit hollow. This relationship would have flowed better if there was a flashback between Mark and Tony or perhaps more interaction between them before everything happens with Jamie. I found Mark to be more dimensional. He is the reason to read this book. His voice and personality really shines. If only I could feel the same with Tony.

LB has written a story that held my interest till the end. Never at any point did I think she has a long way to becoming an accomplished author. Gobsmacked is just as good as any other MM romance I have read up to this point.

Would I pick up another LB Gregg book? Definitely. This is not someone who has written a fly by the seat of their pants book. LB has a skill that I hope will continue to grow in the years to come.

LB, I welcome you to the publishing world and anxiously await your next tale. (Aspen Mountain Press)

Final Grade: B

Cat in a Hamper

I am watching my sister's cat again. As I came down the stairs I noticed the hamper had fallen over. As I tried to stand it up, guess what was inside?

This little fella has grown on me:

Meeko with his stuffed puppy:

The Dirty Little Secret: Self- Censorship

I have to thank Maria at Romance Novel TV for her post about libraries quietly removing books. The School Library Journal has an excellent article about how self-censorship is alive and well.

One such author, Barry Lyga is a victim of this because of the subject matter in his young adult novel called Boy Toy. Boy Toy is about a 12-year-old who has sex with a beautiful female teacher twice his age. Lyga even expected some outrage and complaints, but what happened instead was because the adults were not allowing access to Boy Toy. Bookstores were shelving Boy Toy in the adult section or the decided not to carry it at all.

“It’s sort of a soft, quiet, very insidious censorship, where nobody is raising a stink, nobody is complaining, nobody is burning books,” says Lyga about the plight of Boy Toy. “They’re just quietly making sure it doesn’t get out there.”

This is what is called self-censorship.

“In a way, self-censorship is more frightening than outright banning and removal of challenged material,” says author and former librarian Susan Patron, because these incidents tend to “slip under the radar.”

Self-censorship can also enable racism:

Even more infuriating, says Booth, is labeling. “It seems that any book with an African-American character on the cover is quickly being labeled street lit, regardless of the subject matter or the setting of the book.”

Meanwhile, books about Caucasian characters in urban settings don’t get lumped into that genre. “It’s a form of racism,” she says, because the street-lit category is an “easy way for some librarians to label a book that they can quickly dismiss as being inferior”—and for that reason, choose not to buy.

"But racism doesn’t top the list of reasons why librarians censor. They tend to be skittish about book purchases for obvious reasons. Sexual content ranks number one, with 87 percent of those surveyed by SLJ saying it’s the main reason they shy away from buying a book. Objectionable language (61 percent) comes in second, followed by violence (51 percent), homosexual themes (47 percent), racism (34 percent), and religion (16 percent).

Not surprisingly, titles with gay themes get their very own category when it comes to book banning, whether self-imposed or not, because “people have a very rigid, narrow view of what kinds of sexuality are allowed to exist,” says author Jordan Sonnenblick, who’s the spokesman for a group called AS IF (Authors Support Intellectual Freedom). And oftentimes, librarians lump gay characters into the mix with sex. "

I don't think adults give children the benefit of the doubt. I am not a parent, but I would hope if their daughter of son wanted to read a controversial book, the parent would sit down and read the book with their child or have a discussion about it.

My mother did the same with me. She gave me my first adult novel, Gone With the Wind, when I was in thirteen. At that time I was still reading Nancy Drew. She knew Gone with the Wind had violence and sex, but since she read that book as a young teen, she gave it to me to read because she thought I was mature enough to handle the situations I was reading.

Afterward we discussed what I had read. From the point I went on to read some heavier types of literature such as V.C. Andrews, that has incest and murdering of children, and Stephen King whose books deal with a great deal of horrible killings and death. And I read most of these books by the time I was sixteen. Even if the librarians had practiced their own form of self-censorship, I would have gotten my hands on these books anyway.

This excerpt from the article really says it perfectly:

Scales, a First Amendment advocate and former school librarian, offers these words of advice: don’t put restrictions on kids, because they’ll regulate themselves if given the freedom to read. “Children will put down what they can’t handle or what they aren’t ready for,” she explains.

“You won’t ever make a difference if you don’t step out of the box,” she says. “And we can make a difference to children. Who knows? That very book that you thought was inappropriate may be the one that turns a child in the direction that he needs to be going or that gives a child quiet hope about a situation.”

Should we be concerned about self-censorship? Is it really the dirty little secret it seems to be?

The Non-Valentine's Day Short Story

I have something to admit. The woman who loves everything romances HATES Valentine's Day. For the past ten years I have worn black on this day, no matter where I am or what I am doing. It is a tradition for me. But I do enjoy those little boxes of chalky flavored Sweetharts. Those candies take me back to the days when pretending to smoke candy cigarettes were cool. Am I the only one who thinks Sweetharts and candy cigarettes tastes the same?

In honor of this day, I have a present, or perhaps more of a horror if anything (if you think my writing blows). A few months ago, I submitted a short story for a contest. It had to be under 2,000 words and in the realm of the supernatural. I decided to go with a disturbing paranormal. Only one other person has read this and because I need to gain more courage for others to read my writing, I am posting this short story.

This goes out to everyone who is not celebrating Valentine's Day, but still enjoys Sweetharts.

A word of warning to those who don't like disturbing, bloody horror stories. This is one of them.

"The Cabin In The Woods"

By: Kate Garrabrant

She had been running through the dense forest for only a short while. The one who wanted her body was right behind her. Paul had made sure that when she escaped she would go in the opposite direction to where freedom was, to the road they took on the drive up here to his cabin in the woods. Actually the cabin has belonged to his grandfather and was given to him as part of his inheritance when the old man had died ten years ago. Alexia believed him then when he told her in the car, now she wasn’t sure if that was a lie also.
.

The young woman ran as if her life depended on it, which it did. She knew he enjoyed the thrill of this chase. For she was not the only woman he had brought up here for his pleasure. The idealistic weekend of relaxation and sex she had imagined would now lead to torture, rape and then murder. Her death. The city that she resided in was only an hour away from this wooded paradise. The community there was under fear, for a serial killer was targeting young females.

.

Over the past year five women were found dead in alleyways, the majority of them beaten and brutally raped. Their bodies left for the rodents that had nibbled on their flesh before the police could locate them. The corpse’s breasts were ravaged, the nipples chewed upon as if they were bitten off by the perpetrator. The main question was left unanswered as to where those small nubs were. Also, deep lacerations were cut deep into the torso, as well as the victim’s labia and clitoris that were cut to pieces. The wrists, black and blue with dried blood from rope burns. This killer had great rage for these women, all very different in looks and stature, never the same except for one blatant trait. They all had long black hair with curls.
.

Alexia now knew the man she had picked to be her lover was this serial killer. She had long black curls that fell past her shoulders. And in this day and age she also knew that when a man respected a woman’s wishes to wait for sex, he was too good to be true, especially when both parties were interested in acting on their mutual attraction for one another. She tried so hard to get him past the foreplay and oral sex they enjoyed and took part in, but he wanted to wait till their six month anniversary to have a romantic getaway where their every desire and fantasy would come to life. His every desire would come true, while hers would become a nightmare.
.

As these horrible thoughts of ravaged nipples and forced sex overtook her mind, she tripped and twisted her ankle on an overgrown root that poked through the forest floor. She tumbled in the fading autumn afternoon, and gasped in both shock and pain. She fell face first and slid on the rough ground as the leaves fell upon her as to cover her in protection. But the leaves were not good enough, because before she could rise and hide, Paul had found her. And with one punch to her face she blacked out.

* * *
When she awoke she was naked and spread eagle tied to the king size bed in the master suite where his fantasy was to be played out. There was a bit of a chill in the air for the heat was set on very low. The moon was high in the sky and the light filtered through the muted green curtains that covered the only window in the room. She could only see through one eye, for her other eye was shut and swollen from the punch she was given. She rolled her head side to side, and even though there was only a small desk lamp next to her on the bedside table, and no other light source, she could see the interior of the room quite well. She was not alone, for her former boyfriend was standing in front of a dresser and looking into a mirror. He too was naked, and his penis was quite hard. It was of adequate length and would have done the job quite well to bring her to peak, but now it would be a tool of destruction. He glanced at her through the mirror and smiled.
.

“I see you are awake. Good, I can’t wait for us to begin. All the others seemed to enjoy it, or so they exclaimed when I rammed into them, and made them tell me how much they wanted me and loved me.” His smile was a sick one and his bloodshot hazel eyes were a bit glazed over for he had just finished a joint that was placed in a glass ashtray next to him.

.

She heard a crinkling sound as he moved over to a suitcase that had been placed on a chair near the closet. The ground was covered in a tarp; the type that painters used so no drops would fall onto the carpet. He would make sure her blood did not stain the carpet. Every other of his victim’s blood didn’t touch that carpet, only the cheap $9.99 white K-Mart sheets he had bought for an occasion such as this.

.

He hummed an old Frank Sinatra tune under his breath as he opened the suitcase and began to choose his tools to use on her. He glanced over his shoulder and saw her try to break her bonds. He gave a small chuckle, for no matter how hard she tried to break the ropes, he knew she wouldn’t.
.

“Try all you want, my dear, but those ropes won’t break no matter how hard you try, well, unless you have superhuman strength, which I don’t think you do.” He spoke over his shoulder.
.

He was annoyed. These dumb bitches always acted the same. The crying, the screaming and the squirming as he used his eight inch carving knife to fuck them hard. First he would use his cock and then the knife. The blood would flow and he would bathe in it while he bit off one of the nipples, his favorite nighttime snack. One for now; the other for later.
.

But the poor fool had no idea that she was not like the other dumb bitches as he thought. For, when he was ready to start his game, he heard a snap. Before he could turn, he was pushed head first against the closet door, the knife slipping out of his hand to the ground. Paul was held immobile, his head grinded into the wood. He tried to scream. But he couldn’t, for his mouth began to fill with blood, as a few of his teeth had shattered.
.

The thing that held him rubbed up against his back and gave a small cackle in his ear. A tongue swiped across his shoulder and then a mouth against his neck.
.

“My dear man, you thought I was like all the others, a foolish young thing who fell for your promises of love and devotion. You are not the first to have offered that and not the last. But for you, this will be the last.”
.

He was quickly pulled around and faced a horror unlike anything he had ever seen. It was a huge gaping mouth with enlarged teeth, much longer than his own eight-inch carving knife, and eyes that glowed as red as blood. The mouth was so large that it could eat his head whole. The monster did not go for his head, but instead, as quick as could be, dropped and bit down on her victim where his most precious tool lay, now limp. He screamed in agony and would continue to do so late into the night till he was devoured whole.

***
The next morning was a dreary one for a thunderstorm had arrived in the area. The sun was hiding and the rain fell in big drops upon the muddy ground. All was silent in that small cabin in the woods. Only the sounds of birds screeching were heard. No human was in the near vicinity.

.

Alexia was so happy that the storm had come. Rain always brought the promise of a fresh new day, and because the sun was quite a bitch to handle when it was high in the sky, it was a relief that it was hidden. Her tender flesh could only take so much. She had recovered quite well from her distressing night. The rope marks on her wrists were fading, as well as her black and swollen eye. She had a nice big dinner and even a better breakfast. Now she waited for her ride to come and get her.
.

There was nothing left of her poor boyfriend even though the fantasies she had longed for with him did come true last night. She was sated in so many ways and would always remember this night in the many years to come. So many had come and gone, and all her prey had a special place in her heart. Alexia continued to stand on the front porch until a long black limo drove into the gravel driveway. She made sure the front door was closed, and picked up her suitcase along with a Tupperware container, and made her way to the car. The backdoor was open and without a second glance she slid in next to the only passenger inside. She turned her head to the right and gave him a small smile. As the car moved, the man with the same color hair as hers, that almost fell to his shoulders grabbed her chin and gave her a kiss in greeting. He sniffed her lips and smiled.
.

“Did you enjoy your night?” He asked in a whisper that made a woman think of dark sexual thoughts.
.

She took a moment to respond, for his voice always made her wet.
.

Alexia nodded and licked his lips with her own. “One of the best night I have had in such a long time. He did promise me a night of unparallel delights, and he certainly did deliver.”
.

The man snorted in his elegant way and he brushed a piece of imaginary lint off her dark blue strapless dress that reached to mid thigh. “And did you bring me a present?” He asked, sounding more playful.
.

She sighed and placed the Tupperware on his lap. “Here,” and she glanced out the widow to watch the foliage. She always did enjoy this time of year. For this was the time she had been reborn, as well as her creator who set next to her.
.

He opened the Tupperware and inhaled deeply as the aroma of dead flesh hit his nose. He took a piece out and held it up to his mouth. He so did enjoy a good breast now and again. As he ate his meal, she caressed his hair and rubbed his head, hoping afterward he would give her a good fuck to make up for the six months she did without.
.

She knew she would get her wish because she had delivered her master a lovely present. The carcass of a human, especially an evil one was the best type of meal. There was only enough room for one form of evil in this world, and it was her kind.
.

This was an eat or be eaten type of world, and she would be the one to do the eating, not the other way around.